The Long Dark Night of the Soul.
The "dark night" experience is very specific, and often misunderstood. It is often mistaken for depression, anxiety, or the Witness state. It generally comes late in the kundalini process, and it is a precursor to self realization. It often lasts several months, even a year or more.
The experience of the Dark night is the apparent disappearance of the Divine Grace that the Kundalite has become accustomed to as a warm, loving presence. It is a feeling of having been abandoned by God, characterized by an extreme sense of loneliness, and often a sense of futility and an experience of all efforts coming out the opposite of what is expected.
The simplest way to explain this, is that one no longer feels the presence of the Divine, because the separation from the Divine has disappeared, melted into the I AM. You cannot feel God-dess because you *are* God-dess.
The loneliness is Divine. God-dess was lonely, being One and infinite, and so created us- the illusion of separation, in order to experience love. When the illusion ends, as part of the process leading to self realization, the experience of Divine love ends too... but the dark night is temporary. You will experience the love and presence again, when you come out the other side and evolve into Self Realization and start to see your lovable Divine Self reflected in everyone and everything you meet.
The experience of effort creating opposite effects, is to train you to stop trying and simply *be.* Becoming the I AM is engaging enormous power, and using this power unwisely, for ego desires will always cause a negative feed back effect. You are being trained to use power wisely, by learning not to use it, at all! By choosing not to act, but only be, you are allowing the Divine to use you, as It thinks best. Spontaneous miracles result.
The dark night experience mostly, must simply be endured. Remembering "this too, shall pass" is helpful, the dark night will eventually end in a glorious dawning of a new sense of self, abundant renewal, rebirth and joy.
As a spiritual healer, I have facilitated the ending of many people's dark night experiences. If your dark night lasts for more than a few months, consider making an appointment with me for a Shaktipat session to assist your transition to the next phase of your awakening.