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 on: February 03, 2018, 12:05:13 PM 
Started by lucce pier - Last post by lucce pier
Hi. First of all, excuse my English, I really know only a little. But I speak Spanish and I'm from Argentina.
My problem started with an emotional shock at approximately 14 years old. My girlfriend had cut me back then and I found out that she was with another guy too.
I blamed myself for not "being enough" for her. Soon, I met the son of a friend of my dad, a young adult. I was very closed back then. The relationship with my parents was never open, nor did I have confidence in myself. But with this guy I could open up. Then something strange happened. He told me then, to learn to listen. After that, I got a kind of nervous tic to cover my ear. The question was, I felt different. To all this, I started looking for help. I did not know what was happening to me. As I said, I did not have good communication with my parents. Then, as the problem persisted, they began to seek outside help. I was prescribed pills. But it was interesting that a well-known psychiatrist had recommended me to do yoga. I did it, and it was the first time I meditated on my life. I knew it was the only thing that was going to make disappear what "had stuck." Over time, with many difficulties, I managed to get rid of that kind of compulsion. By then I was finishing high school. I continued doing yoga and meditation, always on my own.

But I had rare episodes for me, and I still have them.
Among them, I once had a dream with the outline of a female figure who kissed me and said thank you. I can assure you that it was very real, and it gave me a lot of peace.
Another episode, reclining performing savassana, I began to feel very clearly a vortex. I could not face it correctly at the time, and I still could not do it, but I had those feelings again, although not so intense, and I could take it more calmly.
Thus, I had many episodes of calm and anxiety or negative emotions. With the calm always accompanied at some point a feeling of love or peace. But some negative mental state always appeared again.
Once, in a kind of fight with my ex-girlfriend, as I was very upset, I said the following: "I feel something is calling me". It was not a voice, it was more of a vortex-like sensation, but it was not a vortex, but rather it was a feeling that I was being "pulled". I do not think I have symptoms of psychosis, nor be a bad person.
I did yoga and meditation for about 3 years. I left it, so overwhelming it was for me all this. I can especially mention the episode of the vortex. I know that I have to surrender, and that the ego dies, but I could not handle it correctly.
I know that I lack a lot of openness towards others and trust, but nobody would understand these episodes without judging me. I wish that all my fears and doubts could be transmuted into some feeling of love and security, and not away from others anymore. Because there are times when I feel I need to be alone. But I do not want to feel this need anymore, I mean, so compulsively. They told me that I had a personality disorder, but I do not believe it anymore. I think it's about something bigger. Also, I came to think that it could be cyclothymia: a psychological condition that brings with it emotional changes for no apparent reason.
I do not believe it totally either. I think it's about something bigger than that.
Other symptoms that I could mention are:
A feeling of movement at the base of the pelvis. That is happening to me frequently, but it lasts a second or two.
At night, almost to sleep, I began to hear very sharp sounds, like beeps, and a crushing feeling in my head. Again, as if that sensation was pulling me. But with these last two sensations, it is as if I could voluntarily stop them, because a feeling of fear arises.
With regard to the sounds like beeps and the overwhelming sensation in the head, it has not happened very often, but these episodes are the worst. I feel then, in the seconds that it lasts, as if I was going to lose my mind. Luckily, it happened to me lately, and I have not told anyone.
Regarding the vortex, I can say that I think it's due to the fear I felt, that the experience was over.
Regarding the kiss with the female figure, I tried to hug her, and when I tried, she was already gone. Before that, and when he kissed me, he said "thank you". It was very real and it gave me a lot of peace.
I also had pressure sensations in my head. Pain in the heart Acceleration of the heartbeat (and this usually happens to me, sometimes for no apparent reason, and I do not have heart problems).
Sensation tingles in different parts of the body, and in the feet. Also hot, and cold. Not very strong, but the heats are particularly annoying. Once I told my mother: "I feel a strange sensation, (at that moment it was in my arms) as if it burned me."
I also had pressure sensations in my head. Pain in the heart Acceleration of the heartbeat (and this usually happens to me, sometimes for no apparent reason, and I do not have heart problems).
Sensation tingles in different parts of the body, and in the feet. Also hot, and cold. Not very strong, but the heats are particularly annoying. Once I told my mother: "I feel a strange sensation, (at that moment it was in my arms) as if it burned me."
I also had as a kind of regression many memories of my childhood, for no apparent reason, without any effort on my part, appeared for sure. Epiphanies, but then always some negative sensation. I know about not identifying with them and placing myself as an observer. I have practiced it and I have read about it.
But I'm at a point in my life when I feel like I want a big change. I want for the first time in my life to be more sociable and happier, to forget about problems. Feel as if my problems dissolve and surround me with love.
I believe in God, I believe in the Virgin Mary, in Jesus and in the Saints. I am catholic. Despite Buddhism's concept of emptiness, all these episodes have brought me closer to God, and I honestly do not care what form it takes, because I know it is personal and impersonal at the same time.
When my life was going to change, I always felt it. Now I have that feeling and I want to make a leap so that at least the fears, anxieties and other negative emotions go away.
I am Piscean, and since I entered the page I felt identified with being empathetic. I am very intuitive, and I do not want to question anything else about the will of God. I am in the process of cultivating faith, but I do not deny that help from others would not hurt me. And even better if it is someone who guides me and does not judge me at all, diminishing all the symptoms that may arise and transforming them into something transformative for the better.
If there is any advice that can be given, I appreciate it very much. Regards!

 on: February 02, 2018, 09:01:24 AM 
Started by Souli - Last post by Ryan

Thought I'd piggyback on this post and mention that I signed up for Tummo in December and am still waiting on hearing back (I also was sent to the FST site).  I'm happy to wait, just want to make sure my application doesn't get lost in cyberspace.



 on: January 30, 2018, 12:09:12 PM 
Started by Souli - Last post by Souli
Good evening,

I've decided to take the Serpent Fire Tummo initiation with the hope of smoothing out the Kundalini awakening and spontaneous kriyas a little bit. Already sent the payment via paypal today but got redirected to a login page for the Serpent Fire Tantra course.
Is this normal or did something go wrong? My paypal email is the same as the one I registered this forum account with.

Thanks, Love&Light

 on: December 31, 2017, 12:33:57 AM 
Started by rain_dance - Last post by rain_dance
I would like to know about people personal journey with living as a shaman in the modern world. Last time I tried to find answers was a pretty traumatic experience. I just would like some answers, getting back on the saddle again.

 on: December 29, 2017, 12:14:31 AM 
Started by wakeupneo - Last post by Mystress
 Sorry I didn't mention the tinnitus, it is a common kundalini symptom, related to the vibrations. It will come and go as it pleases as the process continues, don't worry about it.

 on: December 09, 2017, 06:45:19 PM 
Started by wakeupneo - Last post by wakeupneo
Thank you so much Mystress. Your correspondence means the world to me.

I will start doing a daily practice of observing the breath in addition to the grounding. I pray this will help in my embodiment.

In regards to the tinnitus I sometimes feel like it might be due to the meditation. For over a decade I engaged in practices centered in the head and I practiced with the vigor of a yogi. Now when I do the grounding I find so many blocks, so many crystallization, often I find myself struggling just to move my attention through my head. Often I feel that I create more tension.

Mystress, I was wondering your thoughts on the tinnitus. Is it fundamentally positive(perhaps I'm reseting energy flow) or is it a sign that many practice is creating too much energy in the head?

I'm also eating a paleo type diet and taking supplements for the purposes of detoxification if that has anything to do with it.

Thanks again for taking your time to respond.


 on: December 06, 2017, 04:17:55 AM 
Started by wakeupneo - Last post by Mystress


    The grounding is very safe, it just resets your energy flow back to what its supposed to be, naturally.

   For depersonalization though, try the soul meditation. Observing the breath without controlling it, is the best way to come back to your body.  Whats happened is the soul is afk and that is why the odd detachment. Call it back to you, with your imagination and words. It looks like a tiny bright spark of light like a star. It belongs near your solar plexus.

 on: November 25, 2017, 10:35:18 PM 
Started by wakeupneo - Last post by wakeupneo
A bit of background... I somewhat forcibly opened my crown chakra back in 2011. The years that followed the opening were full of terror and trauma. Thankfully much of phenomena have settled and have left me in a depersonalized/disconnected dreamlike state instead of constant abject fear.

After watching the years pass me by, after watching my children be born, grow up and feeling like I'm not really "there" I decided I needed to do what I could rebuild myself energetically/physically etc. The grounding meditation on the website is similar to the grounding mediations which are taught in taoist and zen schools. In these particular traditions they claim "there is no ill this practice cannot cure". The etheric energy one brings day restores the body.

I've been doing this practice rather vigilantly for the past 8 months, often for many hours a day. It has allowed me to come off of some of the psychotropic medications I was put on and it has definitely made me feel more embodied and grounded. Last week I started noticing some very palpable blockages on the left side of my face/head. I started noticing heat was building in those areas and I felt like I could no longer comfortably bring my energy through those areas. A few days later, upon waking, I had tinnitus like I had never had before along with partial deafness which has now continued for over a week.

I think this is some sort of a healing reaction or retracing of some sort however I became a bit nervous that I might be over-doing the grounding exercise. Is it safe to do the grounding for prolonged periods of time? I have even toyed with the idea of going on a personal retreat and dedicating myself to the practice for the entire time. Would this be safe? The last thing I want to do is create more upheaval for myself by pushing too hard and indiscriminately.

Just wanted to pick the goddess's brain and the community. Thank you for taking the time to read! I look forward to everyone's responses....

 on: October 28, 2017, 11:09:50 PM 
Started by Unknown - Last post by Mystress

  Wanting to protect people is kind of like, being their guru.
  Taking responsibility for what happens to others, is kind of like, being their guru.
  So for someone who doesnt want to...??

  The problem is, you. You walk around trying to be big and shiny light and that light pokes people's karma and if they do not know how to release it then it can manifest in their lives. That is why you get such polarized reactions from people.

  You need to turn your energy inward, give it to your own heart chakra with a prayer to Goddess,  "Thy Will be done" and let Her handle it.

 on: October 27, 2017, 09:14:33 AM 
Started by Rozanne - Last post by Rozanne
Dear Mystress,
I've been a student of yours since I was about 3 when you visited me in a dream. I come from Norwich England. My friend around the corner who looks like a kind of Old West policing man, with a screen at the front of his house, he looks very similar to you. He did similar work to what you do, with me for a while, doing tolerance testing on my energy field. I managed to get out of the loops of my life when I had chemical lobotomies and when the people came to visit my house, they were Mystress-alikes. And that's because its a very USA appearing town, on the coast. Which used to anciently be called the Crow's Mere. And has a kind of Medaeval/Medieval Cathedral. A parish church which has beautiful darkish/mottled gray/grey stones. I sit in a viewing tower and sometimes look at the gaps between the buildings which are sort of Fiddlers on the Roof roof tops, across at the ocean where freight ships go past. And, there's all windows. And winds go through these windows. Black winds. And there's a big Mansion House with a Triangle Roof, which is a big scaled up but otherwise identical version of the house which was immediately behind the house I grew up in, on a council estate in Norwich, just behind a big main road, which had a pub immediately just over the houses which was a Rock House, run by Iron Maidan the famouse group. I later worked there, when it became a family pub. It's also a very big beautiful building. Norwich is very American/Canadian if you read into it. It has high affluence. And I looked also like a Milani Pagan Princess, in my old photo of me at School Ball, aged 17. I used to be a Chorister back then and wear this special blue robe. Nanny was a parish Church lady she had occult boons and if I tell people the story of Nanny Lorna, they know I'm talking about an Illuminati Lady of the White Order. So, because I live in Flat 2 in the Anne Frank House now, and there are books over the attic room, up the stairs...I can build up a cult. And in the Cult, the mystery school stuff is of course all offered up the Progenitor Culture of you the Great Philosopher, Mis Tray Sckuel Canadas. I can speak ancient languages by the way. And design English Hebrew. I also teach people American Intonation, how to speak Dutch intonation properly, and how to speak Romani. Mumma Mish, Dalai Lama's Spiritual Wife, my mum who takes Risperdone religiously, she is the 2nd in the R|ussian Doll Set of our culture. The second lineage holder. And the first is Betsy the Jewish Outcaste/Ex-communicated Bethnal Green Mum with the 7 children, mostly from black dads. And Mum, her children were all from the white elite, tho she is an Indian/Native lady or Tibetan. We put out the leaflets to celebrate the birth of our Son, Little Yvan Jay, who is a Tibetan Monk/Red Skin/Romani-Humour, Foreign Diplomatic level of Emotional/Mental Dexterity of child. He has the same nose as the man Markus I wrote to who was my Supervisor at Hospital Training Medicine. And who also visited me, when I was a child. I live above a shop run by another Markus. And two shops down another Markus. And, of a day, I sit chatting with Hippy Elders, who drink/smoke outside the church, with our friend, the Buddhist Monastary cult leader/liberal, called Shak, who says he is Shakimuni.

Thankyou from North Norfolk Buddhism Studies. We've pumped massive amounts of wealth into Cromer since the leaflet went out, and meant we could have an attunement to the Bedlam/House of Nightmares/Sin City and other Dark and Satanic Circuits here in Cromer. And everywhere you look, people are putting up the most terrific/inspired building of great beauty and sealing off satanic openings with new shop designs and its a occult/psychic hotspot. The town has a shop 2 doors down from me, which is an actual fully authoritative proper Pagan Shop, with massive wall hangings of Buddha Icon/Ganeshe, in a lovely room which you can walk past, and look down on the lovely table, and a little window with proper shod offering, of skulls/bowls/candle holder. And every conceivable prop/thing you could wish for, in windows. They even sell cloaks for children.

And 2 doors down in the other direction, a Christian Bookshop, where they let you divinate which books. Which is a town tradition here. You're most welcome to Cromer any time. We pray for people like you to come here. And please welcome all your students. We, at Buddha Studies would think you'd look particularly good posing on the lovely stairs of the Giant Red Centre Piece Hotel, Hotel de Paris, a great huge building, just in front of the Pier. When you lived in the Crow's Lake in your past life, you did a lot of work and were famous and probably didn't get killed off like the other one's. And I can feel your relationship to questions about how to calculate divinations of Cromer, such as angulations of buildings, and deviations from sources of hot spot super phenomenal activity. H men appear here regularly in person. And there's plent of people here who see or feel dead people. In our town you'd be taken to be odd if you didn't.

We love you and thank you for saving us. You've protected our lives and happiness.

So, good bless and good luck, Lovely Mystress

we'll crack the code eventually of the Jews and how it came to be some of us get lobotomies and get hooked on our mystresy pathway and find a way out for all beings. "lots of love"

....that last phrase was the phrase of nanny lorna....

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