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[Kate]

Hello everybody,

I was hoping to get help with speeding up my Ego Death from the Kundalini Teacher. Perhaps some of you or some of the other initiates may have some pointers..

I have been awakened for a year or so. Have felt the heart energy. However, I now feel that I may be in an "Ego Death" /"Dark Night of the Soul" as my ego puts up a fight. (As described on this website.) It has been going on for about 2 months. It feels like a huge step (leap) backwards I am in severe emotional pain, not sleeping, crying a lot as flashbacks and mind voice come back with unforseen intensity. Quite uncomfortable.

Is there anyone else who knows how to speed up this process?


Thankyou very much,

Kate.

[Gustaf]

Hello Kate!

Asking to speed up ego death is like asking for the chinese curse. It can overwhelm you and screw you up big time. Your Unconscious knows exactly what it is doing, and is doing it just at the right pace, and in the right way. Trying to push it is a form of a resistance. The more you get the monkey mind out of the way and allow the process, the smoother and more quickly it resolves.

That being said, surrender is imperative to Kundalini. Let go, let go, and let go even more. Goddess please take this.. Goddess, I don't know what is going on in me, please take it.. I will get out of the way.  It is, by the way, not a leap backwards. It's a leap forwards. In order to become a clear and transparent vessel, the baggage must come out. Some things will just disappear. Others, will give you profound insights that you don't want to miss. Focus on being grounded, every day, as much as you can, and surrender anything that is happening inside you, no matter what it is. Let Goddess take it.

At the same time, pay attention to your body. Drink water, eat healthy food. Stretch, give yourself time to nature as well. If you forget to surrender, do it again as soon as you remember. You will be alright.

Namaste
Gustaf

[Kate]

Thankyou for your response Gustaf.

[Mystress]

  Gustaf has given you good advice.
  You seem to have latched onto a couple of terms that don't fit with where you are at.
  Ego dissolution with awakening is ongoing, the process of clearing karma and expanding consciousness. Ego death is a quite specific event, not an on going process. Similarly, the dark night is an experience of feeling isolated from the Divine, where what you are experiencing is an intense scrubbing from the Divine! It is your Kundalini at work, that stirs these emotions in you, your karma stuff rising into consciousness to be released.

  Surrender, and staying grounded is the best way to flow along with the cleansing so it doesn't kick quite so hard. Trying to rush it makes it worse, so does resisting it. Learning to flow with it is key, and that means surrender.

  Emotions come and go, you remain. These emotions releasing are transient, let them flow out and be cleansed.