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Top down opening at 8 years from traum8-45 years I had k experience help me!

Started by Purple, October 25, 2015, 01:47:02 PM

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Purple

8 years old I'm in a bad fire, I instinctively rolled flames off and ran to cold shower and as an American kid screamed in British slang.  4 months in burn unit- I watched from 2 feet above my body as treatments were done to skin. I lived in clouds separated from body.  The cigarette voice of a British budhist woman was with me.  I learned from the voice to trust myself (my actions prevented severe scarring) and live life and trust the visions.  Suddenly I wrote European numbering and British spelling
I spoke of this and ended up in counseling which taught me to shut up about my visions
14 years found drugs and opened crown and learned it was always open just didn't know terms until this year.
Looked at religions and blocked by people, and people saying this brand of God is only path to salvation.  I concluded drugs, religion, tv, war are thought control like the counselor to "help me" earlier.  I knew religion was love but I didn't see it in religion  so I learned to give it I attracted those that needed love but I attracted energy vampires it was confusing and circular. 
I would Mute my visions and the gift to see what others need and give it to them until I would have a spiritual experience and then start over.
I then would decide to take action on something- school, relationships or whatever and it was always based on love and service to people.  Same pattern of attracting those in need and energy vampires
A year ago, my dog died, I got sick and two energy vampires converged. 
I began having kiryas, I saw that white and purple light entered from above crown and exited through heart and that is how I live my life.  I visioned deserving love and grabbed a silvery white ball of light and said I accept the love and receive the love.  chakras aligned, and had 2 months of full k. A white centered purple outer stream entered from two feet above my crown and the arch of my feet opened allowing a stream of light to exit and reenter my feet.
I had no idea what this was and reiki popped up on the web.  Things like breathing through my hands and my kid telling me about extreme coldness  or "knowing" the black area inside the yellow circle meant I visioned a person taking things personally. Reiki though Just didn't ring true. Money, steps, politics, factions just sounded like organized religion
I found k, I found descriptions of many things I went through and the surrender, love,bliss did happen for a couple months.
but I found things people struggle with like meditation, operating from ego removed, third eye, and opening the crown come naturally.  Getting myself on the ground for any length of time is really tough.
So here I am, practicing blind.  I have no standard k side effects, I'm operating with pure intent and a good foundation. 
Problem is my side effects, I give it away which creates love and attracts the folks who know I'm a toddler with a gift worth stealing so I have drama but I choose no action as a response and I turn out ok but close down my roots and receiving of others. This then gets me back in the clouds.
What can I do to get grounded or otherwise to be on the path with the light

Gustaf

Hello!

First of all, amazing and powerful story with everything you have gone through!  To answer your question, grounding is imperative of Kundalini, and all spiritual practice, it's something most of us return to consistently as at least in my own experience, evolution causes me to require deeper and deeper grounding. Quite spectacular that is, too.

http://kundalini-teacher.com/meditations/grounding.php

Grounding is more than being connected to the ground/earth. It's connection with your source with who you are, period. The deeper the grounding, the more clear you can stand among other people as well.

Imnotsleeping

Wow, well explained summary Purple! Helped me get a better look at myself, thank you for sharing.

Love
Alex

markb

Thanks for the share. I can relate. A year and a half after my k I entered therapy. My therapist told me about k and highly suggested the grounding meditation although I never did it. I have done it a few times since finding this site. It does seem to be a key point. I will start doing this daily. Thanks Gustaf. I don't know about the vampire thing though, but many people are being healed around me.
Much Love,
mark

Duu

I can just add from my experience that it is exactly as Gustav said ,,Its a connection with who you are" and large part of that is our body. Perhaps it is our current civilization and its achievements that somehow bring us out of touch with the body. Until it sort of habituates. However I think if we have been facing a chronic illness or long term pain from body than that really can make the return to and honoring the body a more difficult task. Difficult and slower but all the more worthwhile.

Love,
Duu

Purple

Gustav and Duu so true thank you.  In my personal journey I have never had a teacher I just did what I did and discovered through this site the terms.   I have never used the sacral  chakra as my grounding  point until I discovered this site.  In the year between this threads original post and the responses provided, I started using the grounding technique you linked.  I had a major reawakening and learned that I was burning fears and creating something-not sure what.  What spirit taught me as an 8 year old  was to breath through crown  (to draw in at medium breath from a point above crown down through chakras through openings in  arch  of foot Then hold and exhale slowly through nose from point below feet and stop at crown. As I evolved these last two years, I understand I am blessed in having these imprints of  love, empath, third eye abilities that have never left me, but I lost sight of the grounding exercise and stayed with my-as I defined it- default technique.  I always go through cycles for now almost 50 years. 
I'm starting a new cycle and that's what drew me back here.  Is my technique a replacement or do I do both.  There is none in my world, town  or area that has a clue what I'm about.  Your assessments of knowing my body are correct at least I now have a shield strong enough to keep the trolls out and I don't block any good.  I have surrendered to the present and hope to have directions to my next steps.  What are my behaviors doing to hold me back and what guidance can I get to move forward
Love purple

Duu

Hi, thank you that you came again to give us update.

Yes it is interesting that one intuits that in religions or even esoteric paths there must be core of the essential, the life giving, love behind it. Yet when one looks at what is presented in life today then one will hardly find it there.
I personally think that those that suffer chronic pain or mental dis-ease are in a way more advanced in spiritual way then many of those and reiki "masters", yoga "teachers" and neo "shamans" etc.
Because they in a way touched the fragile and tragic side of our humanity. They are less prone to be fascinated by spiritual delusions in our mass markets. They know the truth that the "masters" and "talkers" still wish to avoid and put their head in the sand. While at the same time loudly claiming that they seek it.
They really cant say anything that would matter to a person who suffers profoundly.
Spiritual things are not grand things, or goals to be sought. And also they are not about techniques.

Great Atisha once said: The way to enlightenment is a walk trough garden of pleasures.
So in case one wish to apply a method then it would be good to keep this in mind. One has to be in the body and perceptive to know if a method as its applied is pleasurable or not. Often when we start to push or are not perceptive about how we feel. We drift towards self violence.
And there is no reason to add violence to our body. Nor there is any reason to think that violence is a way to enlightenment. Thats my comment on the theme of method that you asked.

I think awakening of kundalini is cool thing, but really to become a more warm and human person is a more valuable thing. Its something that comes from life and it is not connected to religion or spiritual path. And if we do what we can in our situation I think that is sufficient.
I also had situations where what I could do was just little and rest was taken by overwhelming life situation of pain and suffering. If you can do just little then that is perfectly fine.
If many of the spiritual junkies could see clearly the human situation as it is, they drop their nonsense they do and say on the spot.

I read an interview recently how some big buddhist centers in America were proud that they do newly a screenings for mental disease, depression, schizophrenia etc. And remove those people from meditation practice. 
I felt that, that is in a sense good. Because I knew that most of the meditation teachers are basically amateurs and could not deal with such a person. And also there is a mass technique taught to all as a sort of pill. Thus if not adjusted, problems are more likely to occur. Yet it shocked me.
I was very saddened by their attitude to remove those people. As if they wanted to have a clean class... remove those diseased and lacking, away.. we don't want to see them and face them. We don't want to see the dirt and fragility of human psychology in our faces.
They want to present to students a delusion.. a beautiful artificial room and clean people who don't even have and asshole much less a dick.
So if they call that a spirituality then I abstain.

What I learned from FST and from life is that many of the greatest shining people and saints I know today have suffered a lot in their lives and perhaps many of them could maybe be diagnosed with a mental disease of some sort. They manage it well, with smile and strength but cary the burden still on, it is not gone. They are real heroes to which I can but aspire. They are not in public eye nor speak spiritual jargon. Yet when you meet them for but a moment you know. They were not born that strong they grown to it.  And any real spiritual method they got was just a help here and there.

Love,
Duu