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[Unknown]

A bit of background to the reason I have this question first:

I met a Shaktipat Guru in my early teen 30 years ago. I have had a lot of resistance to the relationship with the organization and the guru-disciple relationship. I have always been trying to do it on my own. Being Goddess/Shakta oriented in my practice, the answers have always come when needed. Every spiritual group I come across welcomes me unconditionally with open arms. People I meet find I awaken something in them.  I have traveled to the upper spiral gate several times in my life since the age of 9 but only once beyond. I am concerned with clearing entities and meditate on a black seat. I currently live near an empty church.

The problem I am facing is that I notice that people suffer a lot after they have met me. I tried Metta and Lojong practices to free them of their suffering. But I can't help feeling that the Vortex I create around me is the cause of their suffering. I am not averse to the illusion the world offers and love the innocent beings asleep in Samsara. I have since learned to protect myself and to let those who thirst quench their thirst without their knowing of the source they drink at. I don't want to be known nor a Guru. All is well for me. But not so much for my neighbors, friends, spouse and family. One of them started to sink into a years long depression before moving away from next door, another has developed a heart condition and cancer living with me and another severe mental issues, another one lost her ancestral home, another one has to take care of his dying raging mother for a whole year and beyond. All these people were fine before they met me. The ones that neither love nor hate me but threat me respectfully or with indifference have no issues.

My question is how to extend the circle of protection to those who need it, without them knowing nor needing to follow a path nor me for that matter?

[Unknown]

I tried Metta and Lojong practices to free them of their suffering.

I meant to write Tonglen and not Lojong ;o)

[Mystress]

  Wanting to protect people is kind of like, being their guru.
  Taking responsibility for what happens to others, is kind of like, being their guru.
  So for someone who doesnt want to...??

  The problem is, you. You walk around trying to be big and shiny light and that light pokes people's karma and if they do not know how to release it then it can manifest in their lives. That is why you get such polarized reactions from people.

  You need to turn your energy inward, give it to your own heart chakra with a prayer to Goddess,  "Thy Will be done" and let Her handle it.