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Unprovoked/Unjustified Attack and Karmic Return

Started by Pumpkhin, March 11, 2007, 11:36:20 PM

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Pumpkhin

My story, as all good stories do, starts off with a girl. She is my special someone, who I have been dating for upwards of 4 years. We have had our fair share of struggles as all normal relationships do. However, she decided to go to a different school away from home. We are now living together. This was where things began to turn ugly.

I guess I haven't really paid much attention in the past, but your website has helped me define the feeling I get around her sometimes. It's as if she snaps, out of nowhere, and dumps what I would describe as negative karmic energy onto me. I don't know if she realizes that she does it, but it has been happening for some time now.

She has chronic migraines. She has had them for 6 years. Sometimes this can cause her to become moody. I have always passed off the "moodiness" as normal and accepted that it will be a part of who she is. I can deal with that, but as of late I have noticed that she doesn't necessarily have to have a migraine when this moodiness strikes. In fact there is no corrolation whatsoever. It also seems that they were getting worse in intensity.

I have been noticing changes physically as well. I have been losing a lot more hair than usual in the shower. I feel a jab when she snaps out of no where. It is a tightness in my stomach. I will also add that I am extremely empathic, I don't know if that matters or not, but I am. I had to find a way to shut her out of my karma or prevent this ugly feeling I get when this happens.

I started to do more research on karma and came up with a solution. I read that it is possible to ban people from your karmic field. I attempted it. I grounded myself, and spoke the words, "I command True Spiritual Law in all interactions. All manipulated karma is null and void." three times. All of the sudden the tightness slowely lifted from my midseciton. It was quite a weight that I had been carrying! This is where it got bad.

She started to get a migraine today at approx. the same time that I chanted this. I didn't find out until later after I took her to the emergency room! It was the first time she ever had to go into the emergency room for a migraine. She was hyperventelating and her hands were in knots. She kept on saying that she was going to die. It was one of the scariest expereiences of my life. I can't help but think that I caused this...

Sorry for that long winded explaination, but I feel that you are the only one that can help me. I don't feel right blocking her from my karma, but I can't have that weight anymore. I don't know if she is ready to accept that she is attacking my karma. I don't see how she can fix what she doens't know is broken. Suggestions on a course of action?
"Your work is to discover your world and
then with all your heart give yourself to it." -Buddha

Mystress

 I'm still trying to figure out why you want to keep dating a vampire... an emotionally and verbally abusive vampire, at that~!!   Sentimental, I guess... ?

Migraines are caused by stress and too much energy in the head. They are a sign the crown chakra is closed, usually from negative thoughts.
 
 She feeds on your life force. As part of that she gets some of your karma, which she spits back at you because she does not know how to process it.  I bet hair loss is not the only sign of premature aging you are experiencing.

 You didn't cause anything, you just took back what is yours... the extremity of her reaction tells you how much of her energy was actually your stolen life force. She did that to herself.

 You could teach her to get grounded... connect to Source on her own, but in my exerience these types don't want to bother with that, they think people are a tastier lunch.  Good luck! Blessings...
 

 
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Pumpkhin

You are right on so many different levels. Wow I don't even know where to begin. You see I left out huge portioins of the story. I was dating someone before her. I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but it felt as if the one before her was my soul mate. There was a certain electricity about her. When we held hands for the first time it was as if I felt a part of myself wake up. I have never felt like that with anyone including the one I have been with for the past four years.

You see, I betrayed her. I had a class in highschool with the one I am now with. I went to her house. I didn't kiss her or do anything, but I betrayed my soulmate in my mind. I couldn't face my true love afterward. I ended the relationship. I ended it hard. I know that things don't end unless they end bad. I felt that she needed to be free of me. She needed a chance to fly without being entangled in my web. So I set her free. I made things end. She moved on. She is now married happily as far as I know.

A part of me died with her, a part of my heart perhaps. I promised myself that I would never do that to anyone agian. I couldn't bare to see someone go through what she went through. Her mother told me that she cried for two weeks straight every night. It is to my everlasting shame that I did what I did, and that is why I am with the one I am with now. I guess in an attempt to help someone, to make up for what I did.

Perhaps it is a way for me to punish myself. I guess up until now I haven't been able to accept that. You are also right in the fact that I don't believe she would be willing to ground herself. She will go on to feed off people. I have spent quite a lot of time trying to unlock her mind. There are just too many doorways. Whenever she lets me in somewhere I feel another door close. Perhaps it is because we are not meant to be. I told my mom something the night I broke up with my old girlfriend, "It is not what God wants."

It is truely amazing how connected you are. It is as if I felt your presence as soon as I came to your website. I don't even remember how I was drawn to it. My soul was crying out for answers and you answered my call. I can never thank you enough Mistress, and I don't even really know who you are...or maybe I do. Thank you for helping me see what I would not allow myself to. Perhaps you will hear more from me in the future.
"Your work is to discover your world and
then with all your heart give yourself to it." -Buddha

Pumpkhin

As a side note: Neurological disorders run in her family. I believe the root cause of her migranes were the way she dealt with stress as a child. She had an unbalanced childhood. Her way of dealing with her parents fighting was to close out the negative energy and focus on something else. When I had moments in her mind I could see that she would focus on something else when she became stressed. I.E. she would tune into music.

You were right. I am experiencing other things as well. Impotence. Lack of energy. A few gray hairs. I just turned 22. You also said, "She did that to herself". I guess I know that as well, because I didn't reach out to her like I would've before I took back what was mine. I felt pity, but not in the way I would've before. I didn't reach out a karmic hand to her. I didn't feel guilty.

I am going to save some money and enlist in your classes. I look forward learning from you. You are a blessing. May you be blessed for lifetimes to come.
"Your work is to discover your world and
then with all your heart give yourself to it." -Buddha