Couple of questions

[Chakra_Man]

I posted here a year ago or so.



I have a lot of anger, and usually it is turned inward and keeps me depressed.
When this anger once surfaced i felt whole again, lifted from under the weight of it. Trembling with rage yes.. I want to learn how to do that. I try surrendering but i don't have a good connection to my sense of divinity. Without it i feel i am unable to surrender anything. To surrender is to let go? To let go you need a sense of what is beyond the thing that is holding you down?
Also i have trouble expressing myself, expression is based at the throat chakra yes? How can this knowledge help me work through my blockages?

Just a few questions.
Thanks

[Gustaf]

I posted here a year ago or so.



I have a lot of anger, and usually it is turned inward and keeps me depressed.
When this anger once surfaced i felt whole again, lifted from under the weight of it. Trembling with rage yes.. I want to learn how to do that. I try surrendering but i don't have a good connection to my sense of divinity. Without it i feel i am unable to surrender anything. To surrender is to let go? To let go you need a sense of what is beyond the thing that is holding you down?
Also i have trouble expressing myself, expression is based at the throat chakra yes? How can this knowledge help me work through my blockages?

Just a few questions.
Thanks

Hello Chakra man! 

It's great that you have identified on your own that depression can be anger turned inwards. I have had a lot of anger in my life as well, and will be more than happy to share with you.

I've found that the best way to deal with anger is to understand it, then surrender becomes automatic, since it can be very difficult to surrender while being immersed in anger (although it can happen, and its absolutely amazing)

Anger is part of the ego. Unmet expectations. A defense mechanism based on fear. Sometimes also a safety valve to release pent up emotion. Very common in our culture, since it is often very repressive. Then it's usually something seemingly insignificant that throws us into a fit of rage, or into a period of depression.

I've noticed that a cycle of anger has two components. First its the expression. The energy manifests, and runs its course. The second is guilt!  This guilt is actually a repair mechanism of the ego. Because anger is basically shadow, things that are not accepted within you, projected somewhere. The ego feels guilty because the anger doesn't fit its believed script, so it repairs itself by feeling guilty for being angry, that it shouldnt do it.  This in turn, keeps the very pattern that generates the same anger in place, so it can react in the same way, over and over.   

If you want to study anger and depression from a spiritual point of view more deeply, I would warmly recommend Eckhart Tolle's material. Especially that on the pain body.

So, how to deal with it?   One thing is to work on releasing emotional baggage when anger is -not- present. If you practice meditation, try to be completely non-resistant to emotions that rise up.  Another thing is to do cathartic work!  This will also activate and clear the throat chakra.  Singing, toning, dancing, any form of expressive art.  If it allows you to be a bit destructive (without hurting anyone) all the better!

When anger does arise, this is where the real challenge begins.  The first thing, is to not resist the emotion!   The second thing is to try to not project it onto an external cause!  This can be a bit of a razor's edge. But basically you need to experience the emotion as raw as possibly, with as little judgement as possible.  Now, if there is judgement and a believed cause for the anger there (there usually is), try to have the same attitude towards it. Let those thoughts move unhindered for a while.   When you have this, you can move in to surrender the whole deal to Goddess!

Anger tries to move into your thinking. Even if something else triggered it, it will look for an external cause, through the ego. When the thought and the emotion has merged and you identify with it, it will be harder to stay grounded and work through it. As soon as you can move into feeling as raw emotion, it becomes easier, and you can -choose- how to express it. Maybe deep breathing, or something else.

When you feel the guilt, try to keep in mind its the ego repairing itself. Don't try to stop it, just be aware of it, and try to feel the emotion deeply, in the same way as the anger.  You will feel immense relief!

I have lived a life filled with a lot of anger. My favourite comic book hero was the Hulk! Go figure.  It's all part of the human experience. Allowing the emotions to flow freely into expression will make it a much deeper and rewarding experience.  In the end, there is no need to judge it, it's just energy seeking release.

Namaste!
Gustaf

[Gustaf]

I forgot to mention something!

After you have felt anger as the raw emotion, you may find that insights about it arise. If you can, try to look deeper, from where the anger came, it may uncover an issue, that was the root cause of the anger!  Maybe a hidden resentment towards someone or something, or something from the childhood. You will find out!

[Mystress]

I try surrendering but i don't have a good connection to my sense of divinity. Without it i feel i am unable to surrender anything. To surrender is to let go? To let go you need a sense of what is beyond the thing that is holding you down?

  None of that is true, you know.  Just limiting beliefs.  It is just the story your ego tells you, to postpone its own demise. Ego is trying to bargain for surrender, and maintain some control... which of course is not really surrender at all. 
 
   You know there is a part of you that is infinite, because all the world religions plus some branches of science and psychology tell you so.  They also tell you that your brain or ego mind will never comprehend it no matter how enlightened you get. 

  You do not have to feel it or experience it or know what is behind it or anything, to surrender.  You just ask the part of you that is infinite to handle stuff for you, and it is always listening and it will. If there is something you need to know, it will get back to you on that with some sort of synchronicity or 3 am insight.

   Blessings. 

[Chakra_Man]

Thank you. Im absorbing the information.
It's usually a thought that suddenly makes me angry. I've found letting the thoughts come up and 'do their worst' is a way of releasing them. Which is essentially, not resisting them. But it is a razors edge not attaching it to an outside source, since that's what get's you started in the first place...
Would it be a fair comment to say, 'Whatever makes us angry, fearful, is a sign we need to face that and go through it by surrender? Like a signpost saying 'over here i need surrendering too, lol'
I look in the mirror and look into my own eyes, and think,, 'what is it, there in myself that does not know it is timeless? And feels it needs to protect itself?'
And it's quite striking.
Ego is the mask? It is the cause of so much suffering? We dissolve it by surrendering? I would like to dissolve all these fears i have.
Ive heard of the mirror meditation, what about looking into the mirror whilst doing the grounding meditation? I might try that.

My reply could be a little bit scatty, had a heavy night last night, and i just wanted to let you know i have read the reply's and i am absorbing the information. Thank you.

[Chakra_Man]

I have a lot to write still, but i will take my time...

There are so many things that get me ungrounded, anger feels far more healthy and closer to being grounded than many other emotions..When getting in touch with my anger, which can be intense (like camping-jk) i tend to feel very in my body and in many ways so much 'better'. Because im angry at what stands in the way of me and being grounded. It's an upheaval of shite. Like im heating up my karma to be shot out..Raaa!
But the razors edge is bad-ass. Without projecting the anger, having some 'play' to act it out in, i loose touch with it...Better to project onto God? Than not to feel the emotion clearly? Hmm its a courtship with my anger, not projecting is hard because it suddenly turns to resistance, and i loose that raw feeling of it if i dont have a 'play' or something to work it out. I am experiencing my anger more and more, not neccesarily in a negative way, positive really, but i just want it to..go..but part of me wants it to stay too because i think it protects me...and that would be ego..and should be slapped.lol?. Arghhhh lol!
Sorry to ask so many questions....!