Search

[Wanda]

Dear Mystress,

Thank you for your website, I very much enjoyed reading it!

I especially liked the "Shamanic Initiation" part. I was intrigued by your claim that you can sense the difference between Shamanic awakening and other types of awakening. Can you do this by email? Do you get any "creepy death vibe" off me? I would be very grateful if you could help me with this, I would be most relieved to cross Shamanic initiation off my list of "possible causes for all the weirdness in my life".  

My second question is about the compatibility of Christianity with (whatever kind of) spiritual awakening. I have had quite an intense and tumultuous spiritual life since childhood, without any affiliation or adherence to institutions or movements or persons. In the recent years however, I have felt drawn to Christianity, especially Catholicism. I haven't received any explicit "order" to get baptized (yet). In your opinion and experience, what could be the effect of adding a sacramental seal on top of all the weirdness? Would it make things easier or would it complicate things further? I am not asking about the experience of being "saved" or the charismatic stuff (got it  ), I am asking about the ritual.

Thank you in advance,
Wanda

[angelprayer]

Hi,
Hope you don't mind my responding to this. It seems that in the Bible there is a lot about being filled with light and the Holy Spirit (to be alight to lighten the gentiles) but simply doesn't mention the yogic path to that, other than the acceptance of Jesus Christ, which I believe is powerful and true, but is also not really explained from the psycho-spiritual viewpoint as an internal process. Jung explains the role of Jesus in some detail, so ironically, since reading the work of this occultist, I am far more inclined to accept Christianity, in fact, do accept Christianity. As far as I can tell, the main thing is that you feel what you do is true. My main beliefs and attiudes are taken from: Quakerism, Buddhism, Jungian psychology, Hinduism, Catholicism. The main problem is that it does not unite me with a particular external religious group. All of the components are as necessary as the others so it is not like I can conveniently say "well my core belief is such and such". For me, even the kundalini - which is not in a belief system but a truth - does not provide sufficient explanation of my existance or life purpose. It is a vital component, and guides me towards what I feel is true. But it is said by some that the most effective way of surviving the kundalini experience is to have an underlying relgious backbone to your yogic life. Personally, I couldn't agree with this more. I strongly believe in the use of knowledge for a higher purpose, though that purpose may change also. In theory, the kundalini should not invalidate Christianity, however it probably does make a lot of Christians uncomfortable because it increases the perceived power of the human organism, even if it is said that the light is a gift from God. Anyway, that's my view. I'd say that since my psychic awakening, religious practises have started to make so much more sense. Religious singing, mantras, prayer...you can gain so much more from all of these methods, they are so much more meaningful with an open/patially open 3rd eye.

Rozanne

[Wanda]

Rozanne,

Thank you for your input!

Glad to hear that you have managed to integrate such diverse traditions in your religious life. I myself tend to differentiate btw types of spiritual experience (f ex Kundalini) and mythological or philosophical systems for contextualising them (f ex Hinduism).

Lately, I've done my best to see my own spiritual journey through the lense of Christianity, and I must admit that I find it quite difficult. The main problem seems to be the concept of free will that is at odds with my spontaneous awakening. Shortly put, in Christianity first there is choice, then grace. In more conservative churches, this grace is mediated only through a certain ritual, everything else is either impossible or "of the devil" (even though "the Spirit bloweth where it listeth" ) .

You might ask why am I even considering linking myself to a certain problematic and repressive institution such as the Catholic Church, if I have already experienced the spiritual benefits of joining the Mystical Body (maybe it's just a free preview  )?

Well, first of all there are practical reasons, like not having to convince the fellow Christians that I am "a member" de facto, if not de jure.

Secondly, I feel as if I had been hijacked by the Christian God and I am tired of resisting. So it is kind of a "Stockholm syndrome"   What I mean is, maybe if I said the yes-word in the ritual then this would facilitate my acceptance of what has happened to me.

Thirdly, I could use some extra protection in dealing with not-so-friendly nonphysical entities, and I am under the impression that sacramental seals work that way.

Hence my question about the effects of baptisement.

Regards, Wanda

[Mystress]

  I am very tired of people emailing me asking for a free psychic reading to see if they are a Shaman. I find it massively disrespectful on so many levels, and mostly stopped responding to the question years ago.  For me, the question itself has become a litmus test of sincerity, as soon as I hear it I know I am dealing with a flaky personality, a time waster.  

  If you have to ask, then you are not one.

 Similarly, if you have to ask me if you should become a Chrisitian, then you are not one. You want to become a christian because your friends are Christian? Grow up! What are you, twelve years old?  Change your religion like changing your socks?

PS to Angelprayer: I already warned you about using this board to get attention for yourself and feed your narcissism, making every thread all about you, you, you.  Cease or be removed. You won't get a third warning.

[Wanda]

Dear Mystress,

I am so sorry for waisting your time and upsetting you.
Please forgive me, it wasn't my intention.
I did find your reply most helpful, however, it was excactly what I needed.  Thank you.

Wishing you all of the best things,
Wanda

[angelprayer]

Dear Mystress,
I would apologise but to be honest I don't see anything wrong with pooling experiences on threads. I don't regard is as selfish but a form of sharing.
Rozanne

[Wanda]

Rozanne,

Try dropping the ego for a sec.
Yes, I know it hurts like hell.
But ahhhh, the relief afterwards...  

Friendly regards, Wanda

[Mystress]

I know, Wanda. Compassion sometimes takes the form of delivering a sharp smack upside the head to bring someone to their senses.  Thanks for being the third person to ask, and the only one emotionally stable enough to get smacked and see the love in it. Hopefully my response will discourage others from asking.

 I'm not really offended, just tired of the stupid question. Nobody in their right mind would want to be a Shaman if they actually *read* the essay they ask about... at least you were seeking to rule it out.

 I have thousands of pages about Kundalini, and three? pages about Shamanism.  I prefer to blend as a Kundalini teacher, because the term Shaman has become meaningless. People who don't have the skills, the experience or the discernment call themselves Shamans, I hear about it when someone tells me "I went to see a Shaman and he/she told me (insert really bad advice here)

 It is the worst path there is, makes Kundalini look like a stroll through buttercups, and people who are born to it don't get much of an option to be something else.

 I most often meet new Shamans, in people who book appointments wanting an exorcism for a very verbally hostile entity that cannot be exorcised. Meet your new Guide, you have to learn to love him unconditionally and understand that his gloating comments about death threats refer to your impending enlightenment.  BTW, if you cannot learn to do that, write your will and get good health care... That is not exactly what I tell them, of course..  but it is the truth of it.  Goddess' mercy is in that Shamans are rare.

Blessings...

[Mystress]

Dear Mystress,
I would apologise but to be honest I don't see anything wrong with pooling experiences on threads. I don't regard is as selfish but a form of sharing.
Rozanne

 I regard it as your vampiric attention getting behavior.  Take it elsewhere.

[Wanda]

Dear Mystress,

Thank you for the kind words. I'm probably pushing my luck here, but I'd like to ask your opinion about a certain experience I had. (Anyone who has had something similar is welcome to join in!)

For background information, I'm 30. I was raised in an atheist family in an atheist country, and I've never done any kind of spiritual practice. This hasn't saved me from having weird dreams and Kundalini symptoms. Two years ago I finally started looking for answers from books and the net, and a year ago I went to a week-long silent retreat in a monastery. The question in my head was: "OK, God. I gather you've been trying to tell me something all my life, so now I'm listening. Speak." It was then that I got this dream.

In the dream, I am standing at the gates of the monastery, knocking. An elderly nun comes to open up and asks me what I want. I say, "I want to be in silence." She gestures for me to follow her inside. We walk through the garden and continue through wilderness, until we come up to a castle. It is a beautiful Rococo building, with a feminine and playful air to it and many cozy rooms inside. In front of it, there are men, women and children attending a party, all silent but apparently having a good time. The scene is bathed in warm sunlight. I feel as if I was finally coming home!

But the nun leads me around the corner and opens a small iron door to nothing but darkness and emptiness inside. I stare at her in disbelief and repeat: "I want to be in silence!" She says, "This is the REAL silence." I start protesting, "No, no, this is not what I signed up for, I don't want to go there..." She just laughs and ushers me in. I get scared as right in front of my eyes the nice old lady morphs into a monster! He keeps on laughing like a maniac and pushing me into this bottomless pit. I panic and start saying the Our Father... and wake up.

Relieved of course. But with a nagging feeling as if I had failed a test.

Wanda

[Mystress]

Yup, that was the Void of rebirth, the doorway to enlightenment. Goddess' womb. The Nun changed as a reflection of your fear. It is OK you didn't jump; you were not ready. When you are ready, it will appear again. Blessings...

[mattie]

Wanda,  An experienced energy worker who does awakenings who I had the opportunity to visit w/ for several hours stressed that the awakenings techniques she worked with that removed energy blockages had nothing whatsoever to do w/ religion.  

She said that the body's energy systems (meridians, chakras, auras) & the balancing &/or awakening of these didn't have any more to do w/ religion than your circulatory or lymph system or muscles or skeleton do.   These are simply the unseen mechanisms that we are usually unaware of until learning about these systems.  

It may help you sort these matters out for yourself to separate religion & the body's energy systems.  While it is not unusual to become more interested in religious concepts when exploring the metaphysical realms, becoming enlightened does not necessarily mean becoming religious.  Another way to look at this is that adopting religious beliefs is not any more necessary for enlightenment than adopting the belief of a particular political party's platform is necessary for enlightenment!  

Although religious beliefs are highly subjective & a matter of personal preference, I am very leery of any system that places itself as a vital link between me & the supreme being/energy.  That said, I think it is OK to have religious beliefs as the sense of community is important to some people as long as you never forget that you have direct access to the supreme being/energy.  

[Wanda]

Mattie,

Why do you assume that I have a goal of becoming enlightened?  All I want is to get peace of mind, and to make sense of what is happening to me. Well, I have realized that there really is no reasonable explanation, but it's just one of the vicissitudes of the human condition that we can't just go with the flow, we need to analyze and conceptualize about why we fell into this river, how do we stay afloat, what interesting scenery we see on the river shores, does it indeed lead into the sea as some people say, and what could it be like...    

Thank you for sharing the opinion of your "energy worker" and for your advice. I do agree that religion is not necessary, but I do think that it is useful. We all need some kind of framework to contextualize our experiences, and in my opinion it is safer and easier to base it on a ready-made system. Of course, if one's personal experience contradicts something in the chosen system, then one needs to find some sort of compromise...

About the effects of church ritual and such I've been wondering about, I had an interesting experience a couple of weeks ago. A chain of coincidences led me to a Catholic church, where I suddenly got totally overwhelmed, and next thing I know, I'm standing by the stoup and rubbing holy water on the middle of my forehead... Weird. For the next couple of days, I had a strange sensation there, kinda like there was an area inside my head that was empty ... (No pun intended.   ) Difficult to describe, like a vacuum... Never had this before. Day 3, I got all dizzy and my eyesight seemed to be failing, I had to go to bed, but I managed to sleep it off.

Then, I met a guy who turned out to be a Lutheran pastor, and I got this warm and opening sort of feeling in my chest, and heard myself asking him to bless me. Told him I wasn't a Christian and that he could do it any way he wants to. We wound up in an Orthodox chapel, and what he did to me seemed to be a free-form version of the Rite of Welcome, ending with the sign of the cross on my forehead... And I could feel this cross being etched on me... And there was a voice inside me screaming "What are you doing, are you insane, you're giving up your freedom!!!" But there was another voice too, a small one, and he/she just sighed ecstatically "Oh, yesssss..."  

Afterwards, I discovered that there has been a heated discussion on baptism in the Kundalini list. Some think that the water and the cross on the forehead closes the third eye, others, that it opens the third eye. Well, I guess I'll find out by experience. All I can say now is that there seems to be some sort of rewiring going on inside my brain, and I'm kinda distracted and off balance because of that. But I do feel content and satisfied... And protected... And that I belong. Even though I'm not sure where I belong to, since the ritual didn't link me to any specific church or denomination, just one very ecumenical Christian God. Guess I belong to God.  

[Mystress]

I am glad you are finding peace, Wanda. The important thing is not the name of God, but that you find a form you can trust to surrender to. Blessings!