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[Rose]

I know I am awakened and have been for a long time, I denied it as a child and young adult, but now just hand over to spirit to guide me. Some days I have such a feeling of joy and happiness, and other times, like now, such emptiness and sadness, I dont really feel like a person anymore. I have read that when one is on the verge of enlightenment it can feel like this, but also wonder if I am becoming bi polar.
In the last seven years, since I was attuned to Reiki, I have discovered that I have been stalked by a shaman since I was a child, (he was also only a child when it started, I think his lineage is passed through his family) Sometimes I believe I must be crazy to have these memories that I can not substantiate or prove, other times I know it is true and I just accept it. Some awful things happened to me as a result of this shamans interest, and I know intellectually that I must get past it, I use the violet flame to transmute negativity and attachment, but wake up every day thinking about it. I feel trapped as if I am between worlds, please advise me.
I have used your meditations and thank you for this wonderful web site, the first time I came across it I felt a huge charge.

[Rose]

I know I am awakened and have been for a long time, I denied it as a child and young adult, but now just hand over to spirit to guide me. Some days I have such a feeling of joy and happiness, and other times, like now, such emptiness and sadness, I don't really feel like a person anymore. I have read that when one is on the verge of enlightenment it can feel like this, but also wonder if I am becoming bi polar.
In the last seven years, since I was attuned to Reiki, I have discovered that I have been stalked by a shaman since I was a child, (he was also only a child when it started, I think his lineage is passed through his family) Sometimes I believe I must be crazy to have these memories that I can not substantiate or prove, other times I know it is true and I just accept it. Some awful things happened to me as a result of this shamans interest, and I know intellectually that I must get past it, I use the violet flame to transmute negativity and attachment, but wake up every day thinking about it. I feel trapped as if I am between worlds, please advise me.
I have used your meditations and thank you for this wonderful web site, the first time I came across it I felt a huge charge.

Rose here again. Thank you, Goddess, I read "Genie" in the drop down menu, and it has answered my first question. I have also had an insight into the second question, about my experience with the shaman. I believe now that he enabled me to feel enlightenment, and my attachment to him is because of the longing created by the memory of being enlightened.