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[Nolan.ebf]

I'm new to surrendering, but it is working well, maybe too well. I've been feeling very tired and completely burned out, unable to work etc since learning to surrender to "my guru or god"" who I name Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi, a corpse located at Arunchala Mountain who is still Here.... since I'm studying Zen and Self inquiry already, it works very well.

Encountering infection. twice since tummo initiation and chronic tiredness after about a week of miraculous change.

This is no problem, itll pass, nor is it mine anyways.

Just some discussion about this,

Is part of the kundalini processing, remaining utterly without function, besides eating and sleeping, hot baths and writing/artistic for a while? I've had to take leave and of course i'm okay financially for now and it is handled. So sore, can barely move and the body seems to be catching another infection.

I've mustered enough energy to write this and am just seeking re-assurance.

I also do Hatha Yoga, used to be 3 or 4 times a week, now just once and I'm stiff and beat.

Also, how to stop processing other people's karma? I've fasley projected myself as some kind of Guru or teacher in the past few years, immaturely, ego motive. I've been going through chronic fatigue for a few years, with transitions of energy and bliss. Since the initial experience of "Awakening" in 2010, my immune system has dropped significantly and I'm constantly fighting infection, it may be something else though, a doctor's has told me not worry my WCB JUST sits at the bare minimum for "healthy", prior it used to be double. By the time someone reads this, I'll probably settle this but still feel compelled to post, aimlessly!


Thank you for reading,

Honoring the divine within whoever glimpses this page

[Nolan.ebf]

Grounding and re-reading this, ive anwered my questions.

[Mystress]

  I love Ramana. Most enlightened man of modern times.

  However it is important to realize the man did not live in his body. The celibate ascentic types hang out in the crown ignoring the body and to me that isn't living, its bailing out on living. The second part of the journey is to bring that enlightened perspective down into the body into duality.

  Ramana died of karma with his liver shredded by the toxins of karma he took on from his seekers.  He said straight up thats what killed him, before he died... IIf you spend too much time out of your body it starts to shut itself down because it thinks you died... it knows its purpose is to be the vehicle for your soul. The infections can also be your body demanding attention.

  The essays on empathy and projections have a lot about why people take on karma from others and how to stop. On the other side though is that when you release other peoples karma from yourself anything resonant with your own stuff lifts too... so it can actually enhance your process but its not a very safe way to do so.  In the short term it gets worse because people see you as a willing karma trash can.

[Nolan.ebf]

  I love Ramana. Most enlightened man of modern times.

  However it is important to realize the man did not live in his body. The celibate ascentic types hang out in the crown ignoring the body and to me that isn't living, its bailing out on living. The second part of the journey is to bring that enlightened perspective down into the body into duality.

  Ramana died of karma with his liver shredded by the toxins of karma he took on from his seekers.  He said straight up thats what killed him, before he died... IIf you spend too much time out of your body it starts to shut itself down because it thinks you died... it knows its purpose is to be the vehicle for your soul. The infections can also be your body demanding attention.

  The essays on empathy and projections have a lot about why people take on karma from others and how to stop. On the other side though is that when you release other peoples karma from yourself anything resonant with your own stuff lifts too... so it can actually enhance your process but its not a very safe way to do so.  In the short term it gets worse because people see you as a willing karma trash can.

Way to hit the nail on the head, hahaha,

I'll share a quick story, ended up in a hospital, felt so nauseas and remebered that I was not eating and only in meditation, by the time I Remembered, the body puked up anything that come out, needed some kind of nausea pill, forgot to eat, sleep, drink water at a proper amount well for about 2 days or more? now I'm LOVING my body. Thought that this life has come to an end, really i have no idea what to do these days, its a great freedom, but at the same time now i' feel even more blessed, like you said, to bring an "Enlightened" perspective to this planet, i've wrote lots lately. Painfully hard lesson to learn. Now I shall feast and do much hatha yoga.

And relieved about the karma thing, gladly actually most people just think i'm sane, but nobody really puts me on a pedestal anymore, just been acting less "holy" doing what's "right" and more childish HEHE,

Namaste, shall read those articles.

[Mystress]

to bring an "Enlightened" perspective to this planet

  It is not about the planet, it is about you. The planet is unconscious metaphor for the body. Thinking it is about saving the planet is a hero trip projection that will get you slimed and eat your liver.

  Take care of you. Goddess sees the planet as perfect.

[Nolan.ebf]

to bring an "Enlightened" perspective to this planet

  It is not about the planet, it is about you. The planet is unconscious metaphor for the body. Thinking it is about saving the planet is a hero trip projection that will get you slimed and eat your liver.

  Take care of you. Goddess sees the planet as perfect.

Woah, had this insight the morning after writing the last post,

"The whole forest is in within the tree" and yes, the mind is always judging, empathy essay made it VERY clear, it is just about moi. "Buddhist" vows are too ingrained, just gonna be passive from now on and let goddess do all the work.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! its like running out of a dark cave being chased by fire!

Namaste