Strayed away

[New - Beginnings]

I am writing today because I am lost.. I just recently got out of a long term relationship that well had its benefits but allowed me to stray away from the light all to easy. My partner was not awakened nor had any knowledge of the things I had been through and the things I continue to go through on a daily basis per my "K". When I tried to explain he would shut down because he didn't understand and I didn't know how to help. He never had a concept of god, nor could he grasp it. As a result of my neglect to myself and my spirituality, my soul feels dormant. I feel as though my soul is detached from my body and is reaching for me but I can't grasp it. While in the mean time my ex is trying so hard to pull me back and I want to go back... but I know deep down that my one and only true soul mate is within me... but does that mean I should never be with another person? Since I was a child I have reached for male attention, as a product of the neglect from my father. Never have I been content being alone and until I learn to do this.. I don't think even if I tried that I could have a true relationship.. that person being awakened or not. I want to be happy with me.. I want to pull my soul back.. get grounded... and feel again.. but nothing I do seems to work. I have built up guilt and frustration on top of everything else and it is holding me back. What should I do? Please help.

New - Beginnings

[Duu]

Hi,
Relationship with the world and with other people seems to be the main lesson on this plane. Maybe because it is quite hard. Its like the famous quote: If you think you are so enlightened just go and visit your parents.
It points both that to have good relationship that respects our needs and theirs is challenging because of old emotional stuff and also that much of spirituality is commonly thinking that glimpse of enlightenment will solve it all.  Or in worser case that whole this area should be avoided in sanctified ways of escapism or elitism.

Old spiritual texts simply disregard that area. Because their main problem was how to get people to awaken. Reaching enlightenment in common life was an anomaly almost non existent. While today it is the most common path. (in the west).  So some of the old belief system or old spiritual advice still repeated today has become an obstacle in a real way and has to be revised or discarded to accommodate for this shift. We cant not think that normal mundane people are somehow "evil"

Just by statistics we will have to relate in common life to many more "normal" people then those enlightened or on conscious path. And of course such relationships can work and be enriching.
Maybe it is our own lack of self love, inner lack of respect for our needs, or our old fear or escapism. The common stuff that everybody has that complicates our relationships. So true spirituality is something that focuses on that. And everything is primarily based on our relationship to us.
So by loving ourselves, by clearing ourselves of old emotions and blockages we improve relationship to us and so also relationships with other become better.  So those two things go together.

Love,
Duu