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Just to add a bit to this as I now feel more grounded.. The above not good but some of the other things are:

Sleep paralysis as a child.

Having a clear vision of a young black horse one dark morning when walking in the woods.. so clear that I walked towards it to make it disappear
(this was before any retreats etc)

Dragon visit in mediation, purple ball I had for a while when mediating... all normal stuff I know.

People coming to me when there uspet... this has stopped as I have cut myself off alot to try and gain some clarity.

Strange conversations with people.. my kids randomly talking about past lives or my youngest son once telling me about walk- ins !!

(the above calms down when grounded)

Burning pain in the left shoulder blade that clears sometimes but always would be worse after sex with my wife. Or sometimes can get worse if listening to another problems.

Every full moon there is an emotional power struggle between myself and my wife, for example the moon just gone as I stayed home on my own and tried to avoided her to avoid drama I had solar plexus firing up kind of like waves in that area.. we ended up having a phone convo (so I am guessing this is power games energy theft me from her?)

I believe the above is wound related?

Sorry about my crap spelling and grama.

I fairly sure I was guided to your site about a week and I am reading my way through the pages. I am looking for a bit of clarity regarding myself please.

I have have had back pain issues for most of my adult life (I'm a builder in uk) this lead me on a search to try and clear the pain I started with the usual sports massage etc nothing work over the years I then read about stuck energy and looked into meditation I managed to clear some emotional issues and got some release. I then tried cold water and came across Wim HOFF and breathwork.. this lead to pranayama (un guided) and I had what felt like a small lightening bolt shoot up my spine and a flash of white light. (I was still trying to clear the back pain).

about 2 years go I decided (stupidly) that plant medicine would help clear the back pain and I could also get insights into my oldest son being diagnosed autistic
I went to a plant medicine retreat and sat in 3 ceremonies over 5 days and cleared some issues but I believe I was blocked by my higher self (thank god) I also took 5meo dmt and past out and went to a white void when I came round the other people said I was speaking in tongues etc. I didn't get much from the time there but one of the patterns was around a sexual secrete of my mothers??

On the drive home I felt out of my body I spoke with another participant who put me onto a healer who help with this.
I had various dreams after one where I was dismembered and put back together incorrectly etc..

I had sessions with this healer for around 6 months as a lot of strange things where going on. a few examples.. I went camping one night and there was a huge rain storm I had lots of fear come up (felt like childhood stuff) I breathed though the fear for about an hour to the point where I had to go outside into the raining to put my hands into the grass as they were burning hot.

in the morning I went home and sat Infront of my wife I had a huge high frequency ear ringing and for some stupid reason told her about my infidelities' from when I was younger (we had been married 20years) part of hear reacted as you would expect angry shouting etc. and the other part of her was upset but calm it was like looking at to separate people or maybe the angry part was my shadow self. she told me to leave I left and moved into a house I was building at the time.. what followed was 2 days of heart / chest pain and sweating fever etc..

We moved into the new house around 2 years ago and at Christmas my youngest son (around 6 at the time) was telling me we was seeing shadow men in his room etc and my wife said the same thing. Both my sons are diagnosed ASD and so is there mother.

Going back about 3 years when there mum was diagnosed about a week after we went to a healing festival, crystal stalls etc (not my thing at the time)
she had a reading etc we stop there after the reading and for some reason she turned round and pointed at a stand where the was shamanic training and said "you should do that you would be good at it" I said " no its not my sort of thing"... this was before the retreat etc.

After the Christmas issues I went to see this shaman and spoke with him etc.. I was having unusual things happen with animals etc.. he said I was having the calling.. I took this as the calling that I needed to heal and so booked a session with him.. The morning of the session there was synchronicities from my kids etc.
I went to the healing and the shaman performed a chod healing I lay in loads of fear breath through it and felt my solar plexus feal very strong.
I got up and he said "happy birth day " and handed me a stone.
I went home and the same thing happened with my wife like before part of her was fine the other part ranging and shouting playing out like before.
etc etc ...

I signed up for the shamanic training did one weekend with a group of 12 other but something didn't feel right or maybe it was my stuff coming up.. lots of issues around bulling at school sexuality etc.. lots of bits and pieces  played out in my reality after this.. and I stopped the "training" but still had contact with the shaman and the group for abit.. but then stopped.

I have worked with another healer who is a friend and have looked into sexual trauma issues and issues around misusing sexual energy manipulation etc..

I have moved out from the family home and things are not good. I pushed into mediation hoping for answers but this made things worse... I have tried celibacy as I believe there were issues around porn and impulsive sex.. but I am now starting to think that not having sex is denying part of myself and just causing frustration.

When I am near my wife (we are now getting divorced) I can feel the sexual energy rise in me to the point of inappropriateness (only around her). not always the case but alot of the time.

at the moment I do kundalini yoga via a zoom call with a local teacher this helps as it is helping me feel the energy in my sacral ... I have started to paint sometimes and this helps channel the creative energy.

Now after reading some of the info on here I am thinking that abstinence is not the best idea.... and putting more control and resistance on the whole issue.?

I have requested to join the psi vampire site as I have issues with excessive empathy and pick up all sort of things from other people. im fairly sure this is the case with my children and wife or something along these lines or I am projecting in some way.

I do not think you can become a shaman from a training course and agree with you there from personal experience.. if I was having the calling it would be a reluctant one!!

I do believe I am supposed to be working with energy in someway and I do believe that my K is awake I also completely understand that I have been reckless and stupid while searching for answers.. there is so much bad information and people out there!! no excuse but its not helpful.

I am working on grounding!!! as I believe that is the paramount at the moment ! and I shall continues to read the info on the site.

As I have said I understand that I have be stupid but at the moment I am looking for clarity that some of this is kundalini? and I can move forward from there.

Clearly there is much more to the above story.

thankyou for your time.

Quote from: Mystress on August 16, 2020, 08:09:11 PM
 
  The proper term for the attainment is Vajra Diamond Body. Is not quite the highest attainment possible but close to it. Spiritual immortality, the energy body has become quantum and does not dissipate at death but remains as a vessel for the soul to play. Like all those dead gurus who are very present when you call on them.


   

I am super lost here, never heard of this, and there is virtually zero on google. I've found some Muktananda and started reading. I will keep reading your lessons.

Quote from: Mystress on August 16, 2020, 08:09:11 PM

   I have been away, preoccupied with writing a free ebook teaching people how to become ascended by breaking the pearl, because coronaviruses do not exist in the higher dimensional universe.
   

How may one get this free ebook please?

Quote from: Mystress on August 16, 2020, 08:09:11 PM

The imperative of kundalini, is surrender.
   

Working on that one, some days it comes naturally, while other days I'll have none of it.



Black tantra is Goddess worship. All acts of love and pleasure serve.

   


Certain types of music seem to trigger the Kundalini. Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon was giving me shivers as a teenager. Little did I know what they were... Music still does that, and far more intensely now.

Also, tantric sex is very, very quick at stirring Her. Retention seems to be happening naturally for a good period of time as the ecstasy builds, unless we overdo it Thankfully my wife is very patient!

Quote from: Mystress on August 16, 2020, 08:09:11 PM
Your new mantra "It will be as Goddess wills."

I have started adding this to my meditation routine, I think it and set the intention/feeling/sensation on the Kundalini. Is this right?

Quote from: Mystress on August 16, 2020, 08:09:11 PM
 

  Look for a funnel shaped vortex near your power chakra, wide end facing front. You might also find something like a sphere, crack it open. If you find one, (not everybody has it) then grab some ambient karma misery from the world and chuck it in.  If you do not find anything there, then do the same but pull it into your heart chakra.

  Let me know what you find.

   

Again dumbfounded by the highly specific advice, I have started looking for it today. Never focused on this one chakra before, had to look it up. Base of the sternum, just under ribcage. Confirmed, there is some ecstatic feeling there. Quickly refreshed on your Power chakra lesson, and again stunned at how well it matched a few very recent experiences. I have definitely felt some stuff there, but never paid much attention to it. I sure will, now. Maybe this sphere will show up!!

Thank you so much for the pointers Mystress!!

Mystress, I am humbled by the detailed and insightful reply, thank you for taking the time to reply personally, I did not expect that! Also thanks for not judging, your response was most kind.

Quote from: Mystress on August 16, 2020, 08:09:11 PM
   I will delete if you like but I hate to do it, is a wonderful story.

 You already know it was kundalini, you do not need me to answer that.

 

That is true, I guess it is good to hear it, and more than a bit scary.

Quote from: Mystress on August 16, 2020, 08:09:11 PM
 
 Serious question: Do you ever feel like you are invisible?  

 

I tend to become invisible in groups, and introverted, but I don't think that's what you are asking me about.

Quote from: Mystress on August 16, 2020, 08:09:11 PM
 

 So, the thing that burst, was about mid way between your navel and public bone? You mention stomach and abdomen, not too precise. Blissing out on that point until it burst is how I became ascended too, in 1996. Have not had a cold or flu since.  
 

Vertically it was between the navel and pubic bone, roughly where the lower dan tien is, but much more inside the body. The ldt feels like it's just under the skin , a few inches wide and deep. This felt more like an organ, somewhere inside.  I am anatomically illiterate   but possibly the prostate area? It was really ecstatic until it popped!

Here is a direct quote from my journal in 2016. This first note was written while on a relatively mild mushroom trip, when my defenses were down since, well, I didn't take too much  


12:12 I've triggered something inside my abdomen, it now keeps vibrating and sending pleasant pulses thru me, up to my head, makes me dance, move my pelvis. It started like an opening, like an orgasm, very pleasant, followed by opening of the third eye. I can't see auras or anything and I'm pretty clear-headed, but I'm told that I can easily go further, when I'm ready. All I'd have to do is focus on my third eye.


Next, day, I continue and write that my biggest fear was that I'd popped an internal organ, the sensation was very physical and also followed by a feeling of release inside. The truth is, there was absolutely no pain throughout the experience.

But the freaky part is, the gut inside, felt like it came alive! During the peak, it was distinctly moving around, left or right, like a large worm in my stomach. After the peak, if I touched my belly right under the navel, it felt like I was touching inside the belly. I felt extremely bloated, like my intestines were 3" in diameter and very tender to the touch.

This lasted a few hours and was completely clear-headed. No euphoria, no dreamy state, just a pure stream of energy, from inside me.

It is a very unsettling sensation, like being opened from inside. It was immediately followed by my third eye opening, felt clearly in the middle of the head, exactly at eyebrow level. The crown also opened, with its telltale feeling of "something dramatic is about to happen, you've done something terrible and are about to meet your maker".




This lasted a good 4 hrs. I was still calm when it started, but the freakout was intense. I was ready for the last good-byes, looking for paper to write down all my passwords so my wife could clean up easily when I'm dead. Sounds so silly now but it was real

I will look into Muktananda, thanks so much for the pointers! No hits on the Vajra Body but the library is nearby. As for breaking this thing, I will absorb all info I can find on it. Still completely unsure of what it all means.

Quote from: Mystress on August 16, 2020, 08:09:11 PM
 You were scared and wanted it to stop, so it did. You migrated to a dimensional universe where it doesn't exist.

 The attainment turns you into a quantum being, potentially already everywhere and every when, and the navigation system is focus. You got scared. gave energy to that fear and migrated to a dimension where the power feels like it got squished.

  You got what you wanted... kinda boring eh? Fear is excitement is necessity of invention, is where the creative is born from. Alchemy.

 

Yes, very boring indeed. As life / career were taking over, I was feeling more dead every day. This thing was gnawing at me though. The push never ceased. Even when I gave up on it out of fear, the desire was still there to see where this thing goes. And finally, this desire broke through and flowered.

I am now at a point where I have resumed yoga twice daily for a couple months, and there are concrete energy movements, especially at the back of my head - very ecstatic. None of the extreme stuff I experienced a few years ago, this feels more like a mechanical process.

Any sort of sexual stimulation, however, is a different story altogether. The Kundalini begins to stir and... well the amounts of whole body ecstasy are just insane. She settles after a night's sleep, but getting to sleep is tricky

I don't know what this ascension is exactly, is it same as the Witness state in yoga? I am eagerly reading your lessons trying to make sense of this. At least now I know which direction to look in!

I will be digesting all this info you provided carefully, there is enough here to make my head spin.

One thing I know, there isn't much point waking up in the morning if I at least don't make a best effort to find out what is this Kundalini thing inside me.

  Bark like a dog!

 I love saying that.

Now a joke. How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Freeze it and run it through a bandsaw. Meeeerow.

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline and light it on fire. Woof!

 To clear throat blockages: Bark like a dog, a big dog, deep sound but like the joke,  the sound is more from air whooshing than voice. When a big dog barks loud, it empties its whole lung capacity in one Woof! All the people who repressed you, WOOF! Big dog defends boundaries.

 The blockage in a female throat is usually, "If you cannot say anything nice, do not say anything at all."

  In men it is "Big boys don't cry." The lump is unshed tears. Got to let them flow out.
 
 Sad movies, sad stories, "Terms of Endearment", "Old Yeller."  You tube search or web, movies or news that makes people cry. Do a marathon. If you drink alcohol, a couple of shots is an effective muscle relaxant to assist emotional release. Less uptight eh?

 Let me know how it goes.

  Sorry clueless, pandemic has me quite distracted from tending this forum.

  I will delete if you like but I hate to do it, is a wonderful story.

  You already know it was kundalini, you do not need me to answer that.

  You are right too, this is the only place to get insights. Not too many ascended teachers around.

  Serious question: Do you ever feel like you are invisible? 

  So, the thing that burst, was about mid way between your navel and public bone? You mention stomach and abdomen, not too precise. Blissing out on that point until it burst is how I became ascended too, in 1996. Have not had a cold or flu since. 

  The proper term for the attainment is Vajra Diamond Body. Is not quite the highest attainment possible but close to it. Spiritual immortality, the energy body has become quantum and does not dissipate at death but remains as a vessel for the soul to play. Like all those dead gurus who are very present when you call on them.

  References: Muktananda wrote a bit about the pearl at second chakra. He said it is a bubble of non-duality in duality. He was also something of a sexual predator. Celibacy is not sustainable if that center is awake. Why do they pretend? Patriarchs...

  He didn't say anything about breaking it, that is my teaching. What you felt, the non-dual energy flowing out to transform your whole energy body to a non-dual state. Ascended.

   I have been away, preoccupied with writing a free ebook teaching people how to become ascended by breaking the pearl, because coronaviruses do not exist in the higher dimensional universe.  Pandemic escape plan. However it appears being grounded also conveys immunity, Goddess' peace.

The past few years, it is funny how many people I have encountered who were ascended and did not know it. It is a little bit dangerous as you have discovered because you suddenly have massive magical power for your thoughts to shape your reality, a spiritual Master but lack the training of mental discipline to be mindful of your thoughts and avoid accidental manifestations or migrations. You were scared and wanted it to stop, so it did. You migrated to a dimensional universe where it doesn't exist.

  The attainment turns you into a quantum being, potentially already everywhere and every when, and the navigation system is focus. You got scared. gave energy to that fear and migrated to a dimension where the power feels like it got squished.

   You got what you wanted... kinda boring eh? Fear is excitement is necessity of invention, is where the creative is born from. Alchemy.

  I think you are stuck there because your path was so forced. Entheogens and pranyama are ways of blowing the gates open. Good you stopped. The imperative of kundalini, is surrender. So even though you have attained, you are, as you say, clueless. You have to take a different approach. Your new mantra "It will be as Goddess wills."

  White tantra is celibate, black tantra is sexual. Nothing to do with black magic, it is the two sides of the Dao, male and fem. Black tantra is Goddess worship. All acts of love and pleasure serve. White tantra is about control, semen conservation, celibacy, controlling the breath etc. Have to let that all go now.

  Emotions, life, everything is connected. In your fear, discomfort you thought to shut down one thing, and instead shut down a lot of other things not realizing they are all part of the whole.

   There is no creativity in ascension, we descend, to grow more. It is the mix of light and dark together, processing the karma stuff that fires up the Muse. Boddhisattva or boredom, your choice. Eat karma then do art. 

  Look for a funnel shaped vortex near your power chakra, wide end facing front. You might also find something like a sphere, crack it open. If you find one, (not everybody has it) then grab some ambient karma misery from the world and chuck it in.  If you do not find anything there, then do the same but pull it into your heart chakra.

  Let me know what you find.

   

 Switch to CBD instead of weed.  It will smooth out the anxiety, moodiness and body pains without the stone.  I like the MOTA sour squares. Take it slow, tapering down. Nothing wrong with self medicating, CBD has many benefits. Just need to find the right stuff.

Hi All,

I am having globus sensation for the past 3 years. Have undergone several tests including Barium Swallow, Modified Barium Swallow, Endoscopy, and CT Scan. Nothing concrete. They put me on acid reflux medication. The sensation of something that is stuck in the throat never goes away. Ane clue as to how to fix the throat chakra?

My kundalini was awakened in 2015. I am used to it now but the globus is something that i am unable to cope. Dr's are unable to help here as endoscopy or scan doesnt show any thing. Any help much appreciated.

Thank you.