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[Username]

Ok. about a month or 2 ago or so i had the enlightenment experience or cosmic unity. everything was good for awile but now i feel dead. Well worse than dead. I started having realling weird dreams about zombies and demons and stuff. it was just really weird and i cant really remember what happened in them
But the past few days have been the worst of my life. I feel like a zombie. like I'm just going about life with no reason or anything. i have no emotion at all. i try and i really cant feel anything. i cant feel sympathy, anything. i also feel really dumb compared to my old self.

Is it really possible to loose your soul?

I cant think clearly at all and i don't know whats wrong with me. I don't even have any thoughts, barley any faith at all. Is it possible that the dark nite happens after someone becomes enlightened?
I also feel like i tried to search to far into what was really happening to me. Like for anything scientific that could explain it and what i really realized. i think i almost started to doubt that it was anything special at all and that i just got rid of my own mind.
Sometimes i feel like i think and question more than i should. I'm never fully satisfied with what Ive accomplished.
I don't know though. i know someone said something about falling from grace so is that what could have happened?


I have no energy or anything anymore. i wake up and don't even feel like doing anything at all.

I'm about to go on a trip to Virginia beach with some friends so maybe that will help but if anyone could help me id really appreciate it.

Is it possible that i could get back to where i was before or did i really loose my only chance at something great?

also sorry for bringing all my problems here but everyone seams to be really helpfull and i don't know where else to go.

[sanvett]

I am also a "newbie" to this forum, though I've been reading the information on this website for several weeks.  I really enjoy how it's written - straight forward and to the point. 

I'm not a person who finds it easy to write to someone like this, but I deeply felt your pain and confusion when I read your post.  So, here is a suggestion - may it assist you in searching for your answers.

Besides this (marvelous!) site, there are a few others that I regularly visit.  Each one has strengths and values that I resonate to.  One of those is www.whatsuponplanetearth.com?  If you go to "Energy Alerts", you might find some answers that seem relevant to some of the things you are feeling - specifically the last 2 alerts, one for June 23rd, and today's alert, July 1st.  Good luck, I sincerely hope that this information was helpful to you.

Sandy

[Mystress]

  It is odd how people do not immediately associate "going into the light" with "dying and going into the light" even though they are kinda the same. 

  The Tibetan book of the dead is not about what happens after you die, so much as it is about the awakening process...  the bardo levels have some similarity with Dante's 13 levels of hell.  Where you go to process your unfinished karma, so to speak. Except as the book suggests, doing so while still physically alive is part of the path.

  Yes, going into the light means you died and now you are doing the bardo stroll through the underworld. The detachment state, is to help you detach from whatever stuff has gotten you bogged down on the journey. 

   That you are so bogged down indicates that maybe you were really not yet ready to go there and karma smacks your impatience. 

   Go to bed one night, and fall asleep while meditating on imagining yourself floating like a fetus inside the fiery crystal heart of the earth.  You will be fine when you wake, but extremely sensitive and vulnerable so be gentle with yourself and spend a lot of time alone in nature for the following week.

   After that, do not attach to anything. Just go with the flow of your life and deal with what lands on your plate. 

    Blessings.

[Username]

Thanks! ill take your advice.
Going to Virginia beach really helped though. after 2 nites of camping in the woods i felt better than ever.
the problems started again when i returned home. I just feel like i don't belong here at all.
I wish i could be around nature all the time and thats one of the problems. I'm surrounded by nothing but houses and people.
My neighborhood just isn't a very good one. the people aren't kind at all and they all just seam like zombies. there is no life in anyone in this town.

I loved being on the beach and i would like to find a place to leave near a beach. There is also a town very close to mine where people are much more peacefull and acceptant of people who want to actually live and enjoy life I'm thinking about moving to


Keep in mind that I'm 18 and have very little money. I want to leave and go wherever my heart takes me but it is taking alot of courage and i just cant get myself to do it yet.

I guess right now I'm doing fine but the normal questions of life are clouding my vision. I don't know what to do. I want to follow my heart and dreams but doing so is going to pull me away from everything and everyone i knew and i guess it is harder than i origionally thought it would be. Id like to just go on a long trip by myself and just live day by day for awhile but like i said it takes alot of courage to walk away from everything you ever knew.
If i stay here i feel like I'm letting myself down but i cant figure out what else to do

Does anyone have any suggestions?

[Sigmund]

Hey there, username.  I can relate with what you're going through.  I've been through similar circumstances.  I find that in our everyday world, there's good and bad in everything.  That is, things that feed me and things that don't. 

I've had success figuring stuff out and making decisions by taking a couple of sheets of paper and listing the pluses and minuses of my choices and going from there.  That way, I get off my chest what I've been carrying around, I make room for new information to surface, I see what's what side by side and I go from there.

... works for me.  All the best as you unravel your struggles.

[John Frusciante]

Muktananda spoke alot about the first signs of Shaktipat - where the seeker has a taste of divinity, and is then plunged into confusion. His spiritual autobiography "Play of Consciousness" is well worth getting hold of.

The bad dreams are probably a sign of inner purification. I recal having some very vivid and distressing dreams around the time of my first deep meditation experiences; like sudden and violent car crashes, or falling from a skyscraper. Scary stuff. Once you are abiding in Divine bliss throughout the day, your nightly dreams will become beautiful also   

[Username]

Thanks everyone.
I was ok for awhile but i feel like i am at my worst now.. worse than above.
I'm 18. My parents are putting so much pressure on me to do things i don't want. I am getting constantly pressured and having to deal with family members who think i am nothing more than i dumb teenager who knows nothing about life.. I have heard money is life more than 20 times the past few days, and that life sucks no matter what you do. That i need to go to college, that I'm going to kill them if i do what i want...
I feel like more karma is being brought on me by myself as well. I am putting tons of pressure on my self and i just don't want to let myself down (spiritual wise). I was thinking about going on a journey I feel like I'm so far from everything. I know it will be hard on my family but i feel like i have to.
I can't even sleep. I actually felt kundalini in my legs last night so that can't be good. It feels like I'm trapped in a cage with no way out.
Its like my whole life is just in question. so many options and big choices are going to be made that effect my whole life and the only advice i get is from blind people who think they are right and anything that doesn't involve money or a college degree is wrong. I mean i can understand why they think that but they basically crush my spirit and make it impossible to think right. I just need some advice. I cant think, i cant feel anything. i really think my soul might be gone. last night i saw something very small and white flying around and now that i think of it right after that i started thinking about doing things i know i really wouldn't want normally. I know that might sound weird but thats the truth..

Id really appreciate any help at all