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[jasmine]

Hi...three months ago I gave birth to my daughter, the seventh generation of first born daughters named Elizabeth with no middle name, and she died 9 hours later from Trisomy 13. Since then I have experienced more chaos and beauty than ever before. I can see the sychronicities and gifts from this tragedy and also have a sense that I am experiencing some sort of initiation. I am searching for answers, but I don't even know the questions to ask or who I should be asking. Do you know of any resources to help me? My heart aches to know my purpose, to be broken open as wide as possible to God and to make this suffering a cleansing that helps me toward my path. Thank you in advance.

[angelprayer]

Hi Jasmine,
I'm really sorry to hear about your heart ache. I can't imagine how it must be. ...but I know how it is to have my heart break though. It happened to me as a child and it's happening to me now. If there was only a way of knowing what is "right"....I wish i could cling onto something for a sense of stability again. At least you believe in there is an answer...that is a start.
Good luck.
AA

[Mystress]

Jasmine:


  I am sorry for your loss. It seems what you ask for, is already happening. Kundalini awakening as a result of traumatic events is quite common.

  In the highest sense, life just Is, and it doesn't need a reason. It is we who need reasons, and create a sense of purpose for ourselves to get a sense of clarity and an idea of order in the universe.

 I know of only one, seemingly universal life purpose, and it comes from NDE studies.  Over and over, people report the same thing: a life review with perfect empathy with everyone whose lives you touched or affected, feeling their feelings so you know exactly how it felt to know you. The second thing, is a question: "How well did you love?" and you answer it for yourself- you have all the information you need, because the life review has shown you the ripples of your actions.

 Sometimes surgeons break a bone, so it may heal stronger, straighter and more functional. Sometimes, Goddess does the same, with a heart. That is what you are feeling, and the joy and chaos are your heart opening to see with new eyes. It is only with the heart, that one can see clearly.  

 On a universal level, you are already following your purpose- you are gaining big new insights into the nature of love. Allow it, and the rest will reveal itself, in time. Blessings!

[angelprayer]

 I know of only one, seemingly universal life purpose, and it comes from NDE studies.  Over and over, people report the same thing: a life review with perfect empathy with everyone whose lives you touched or affected, feeling their feelings so you know exactly how it felt to know you. The second thing, is a question: "How well did you love?" and you answer it for yourself- you have all the information you need, because the life review has shown you the ripples of your actions.

That seems like one of the best answers to the meaning of life I've ever heard. I only really appreciate that now I am chest active. It's actually quite scary because I'm starting to appreciate the fact I do cause people suffering, in ways I couldn't intellectualise before. So I think I'm gonna start using my heart more instead of the rigid set of morals I've constructed for myself.