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[angelprayer]

Dear Mystress,
I was wondering if you could give some advice on something? Over the past few months my spiritual path has been accelerating and chakras  have been clearing  all over the place. As my third chakra was being tested by a relationship to a very strong degree, it seemed to clear. As this happened I felt myself to be "psychically pregnant" and my belly expanded for a few weeks. My period was delayed by 20 days. Almost as soon as my period did come back I noticed a very large change in my physical appearance. It seemed as if the structure of my face changed quite dramatically, to be honest I started to look considerably more masculine in my face. This passed. I was smoking at the time, and my skin was looking especially bad, as well as that, I had recently had my hair cut short. I was quite shocked by just how bad I looked. After quitting smoking and changing skin care products I am looking a bit better. My hair is growing a bit and I'm just acclimatising to the fact that my face simply look different. Not bad, necessarily, just...different to how I used to look. I think it is fair to say I do look more androgenous, but seem to be getting more attention for men than ever so have started to feel a little better about myself...that all is not lost, I can still find a husband etc etc. I feel that during this period of physical change, something changed in my personality. I had to let go of my ego attachment in a way I hadn't been able to before. It distressed me a bit to look so bad, but in the midsts of it I gave up my gender and discovered the androgeny of my spirit/higher self. It is good to know myself like that, but nevertheless i have to admit to wanting to be more attractive. The reason is not to be the best or have the power to attract men and treat them like toys. I just want to be OK, not great, not ugly, just nice, approachable, friendly, and respectable as the woman I am. Is there any advice you could give me on this? For instance I would like to know the following:

- is it common to change physical appearance during a psychic awakening?

- were the spots and ugliness in part due to "bad stuff" coming to the surface?

- am I going to start looking more attractive at some point...or do i have to constantly worry if I am feminine enough?

I have been praying to angels a lot recently and feel it is nice to know they care/understand and do not judge. I am a little afraid still that no man will truely have awe for the good in me, or the connection i have with the Great Mother. I believe it would be a put off the way that my physical appearance is so plain.

Sincerely
R

[Mystress]

Hello:

 You gave birth to a new, androgynous self... it is a normal part of the process. It has happened to me a few times! I look much more masculine now, but that happens with women anyway as we get older.  I'm 40 lbs heavier too but I am the only one who seems to care. The men in my life still think I'm gorgeous, even when I think I look like roadkill.

 They say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and you don't believe it but it is true... and women are their own worst critics. Michelle Pfieffer was voted the most beautiful woman in the world, and she says she thinks she looks like a duck... nobody is forcing you to worry about your appearance or femininity, you are doing it yourself... I dunno why. I guess, everybody needs a hobby....

 When I was a child, I had a number of dreams, time traveller observer in the mind of my future adult self. In the last of the dreams at age 9, my adult self was aware of the child passenger and there was 2-way communication. The child wanted to know what she would look like, so the adult went to a mirror. The child was a little disappointed, hoped to be prettier... the adult laughed at this and said something like "actually, I am considered a world famous beauty" (and it is true today!)  the child was amazed, the adult explained "People, don't all see the same thing..." and it took me twenty years to understand what that meant!

 One of my lovers wrote me this poem last week:

Angelic? yes, in countenance, fair eyes flashing
Neither does she lack in anything which is pleasing
Goddess touched by grace, she gives by receiving
Elegant always in raiment fitting or in native naked beauty
Lips formed for love and laughter and loving cupid's bow
Intellect rare and searching,informing where such is bestowed
Question the wind fool before asking her reasons
Unique to each to each her fair gifts given
Enough to know such grace is found within these mortal bounds

Soft without blemish her skin sears the touch
Eros blessed both before and behind
Regal in bearing, as befits a Queen of men
Piercing gaze demanding your best, and then better again
Enchantress of dreams made flesh
Noble in spirit sharing Goddess grace with many
To me a special grace bestows, a whisphered eternal yes

 Wow, eh? So, now I know more about how my Bear sees me. Do I see myself that way? uh, well... not quite!

 There are a lot of wedding shows on TV these days... and the brides are not supermodels. Most are a little plain and a little plump, but you can see that in the eyes of the groom they are Aphrodite manifest!  So, you are a little naive to think how you look has much to do with getting married... and who would want a shallow guy anyway? Why are you being this shallow about yourself?

 The women who marry soonest, are often the women who give the least thought to it. Independent women are catnip to guys...

 Anyway, if you are K awakened, then it is really out of your hands. Finding a husband is not your job. Goddess will provide the perfect one when the time is right, and make sure he hangs around until you get the message.  In the meantime, I'd say you still have some growing up to do!  Blessings...