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[Morgan]

It's funny.  When I first had what some might call a spiritual awakening, which by the way was quite gentle and continues to be, but undeniable, I was so full of gratitude and couldn't believe such a thing could happen to me. I wanted to discover as much as I could and move ahead.  Fast forward: 4 1/2 years later life feels better than it ever has.  However, I thought this journey would be about me becoming a kinder, more loving, "me."  But the thought of there not really being an individual "me" and no "other" saddens me...I understand intellectually that "one" gives up absolutely nothing...but what does one see when there is no "them" and no "you?  For instance, what about loved ones? What do you see when you look at your friends, or pets, or your children, husband, wife...who is there?  What does life look like to someone fully awakened?  I know the answer is God or Oneness, which at this point means nothing to me, but there really aren't any unique individuals?

[Gustaf]

Hello!  

Beautiful to hear about your awakening. I have been through this particular thing as well. Your ego cannot understand unity, so it always looks wrong, one way or the other. What you are embarking on is something much much more magnificent. As long as your are incarnated, individuality doesn't disappear. Rather, it changes.  More and more, you can experience the totality, the bliss, the oneness of Goddess, and at the same time, you still perceive the individual forms, perfect and unique, like snowflakes, including your incarnated form, with its memories, body, gender and life experience.

Your human nature remains.. You still eat, sleep, make love, and enjoy the company of other humans. If anything, you may be able to have more rewarding relationships than before. "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.,"  Allow the sadness, and surrender it.  What you see, I cannot explain to you, nor can anyone else, you have to see it for yourself, like the Matrix.  You will, however, not be disappointed. Welcome to the forum, and enjoy the ride!

[Morgan]

Thank you for your kind words and for your answer.  I kind of knew that the question I was asking, based on all I have read, isn't something easily explained, if at all, and can only be experienced.  I have read before many times, that the "I" I think I am doesn't exist or "anyone" else, but I push the thought away. However, the night before after reading about it yet again, it depressed the hell out of me.  I appreciate your gentle explanation and it helps me realize this is a process and there is time and Help available with whatever comes up.

Thank you again and although I an NOT Kundalini awakened, and haven't had most experiences or challenges described on this website, I have found this website to be very touching and helpful!

[Mystress]

  This is a sweet question, there is so much love in it.

  Everything is unique, everyone is unique. All unique manifestations of the One Divine Self.
  Some manifestations you might not even like very much but the Life in them is still radiant,  Namaste. Think of all the enlightened teachers you know or have ever heard of... they all may have the same radiance of spirit but they are unique in their expressions, life path, experiences. Uniqueness is embedded in our DNA. DNA shapes personality. Becoming unified with the flow of life actually gives more appreciation for the infinite and varied manifestations. Goddess does not make two exactly alike, of anything and that goes right down to the subatomic level.

  Some good medicine for you: http://www.arvindguptatoys.com/arvindgupta/littleprince.pdf

[Morgan]

Thank you for your reply, Mystress, and for the link you provided.  I have never read "The Little Prince",  but I intend to now.

Thank you, again!