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[angelprayer]

What is freedom, in this life? Is it possible, and if so, how can one acheive it?

[Wanda]

Well, in case of K-awakened people, "freedom is the recognition of necessity", I think.

And you achieve it by surrendering to your inner guidance or to God or whatever you like to call it.

Which is **** difficult, of course. Some years ago, I almost drove my spiritual father insane with stupid questions regarding my apparent lack of free will in this process... I can't believe his patience in trying to explain this to me. I guess it can't be explained, it can only be done, relying on nothing but blind faith, trust and hope. But hey, if someone as sceptic and stubborn as me could do it, anyone can.  

[angelprayer]

I felt very strongly tonight that I needed the guidance....very much so. Please help me get through this and do it as I should I thought to that part of myself which is more peaceful and wise. I am so confused.

I've been putting my mind under too much pressure recently to change. It works sometimes, but othertimes it's like one needs to rest.

I feel bad that I am kundalini awoken and have unusual experiences and that others aren't having, at least not with as much frequency. I feel bad about that because I suppose I've come to value it too much.

[Emulated_Puppeteer]

Freedom can only be comprehended as its default definition:

Freedom: the condition or right of being able or allowed to do, say, think, etc. whatever you want to, without being controlled or limited.

If this isn't the freedom you seek, the freedom you look for can not be explained within words.

Who da man?!    

P.S: Your site update is excellent!  

[Sigmund]

The Buddha talked about freedom from suffering in this life.  He defined it as not having what you want and having what you don't want.  The road to doing this, he says, is his eightfold path.  http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=buddhist+eightfold+path  This includes the avenues of wisdom, ethical conduct and mental development.  

There are lots of parallels between what he taught and what we do here.

Some of this you can make happen.  Some of it you have to let happen.  

Are you a fire serpent tantra student?  

[Wanda]

As I was slumbering in bed this morning, a sentence popped into my head:

"One can only be truly free, if one doesn't care what happens the next moment."

So, freedom of expectations, maybe? Living in the moment? Eternal now and all that?  :-?

[angelprayer]

Are you a fire serpent tantra student?  

No....I just looked at the realplayer clip for the Fire Serpent Tantra course...it doesn't look like my cup of tea. I'm focussing purely on emotional processing and meditation at the moment, as for tantra and other kundalini gifts....I'm trying to renounce those as I feel it has given me a ego-hook. I like Mystress's vision but it is clear that the course came out of her understanding of aesthetism versus integrational spirituality. I have chosen the aesthetic path because I have long-standing habits which wouldn't permit me to involve myself in anything spiritual which cost money or anyone who takes money for healing. I have a fraught relationship with money and earth arts, including the veneration of humans, although the point about hierarchy being necessary is probably true also...

Interestingly I had a long series of dreams today (!!!).....all about Brahma Kumaris where I go for meditation. Brahma Kumaris means "daughts of Brahma" and sometimes I feel really awkward there because you can't even compliment a vegan-cake without the tension of "egotism=bad" lurking in the background ...maybe its just my interpretation, but I feel that the women there, who wear white and a extremely moderate and quiet....find me to ego-y.

My dreams, which lasted hours, were about parties at Brahma Kumaris. At one of the parties, there were topless barmaids and stalls of hotchocolate....and "exclusive" group which was headed by a man in his late 60s, who almost looked a bit Hugh Heffner in his way of walking around.

There were stalls and stalls of hot chocolate, edible fancies...games....and inside was an arcade with lots of really cheapy tacky clothes stalls, run by black men.

I see a video clip on a tv in the clothes market. It's a woman in her 30s, on MTV, doing a stunt. It was a dream, so although it doesn't make "sense" logically, in the dream, she was attached to an electric pilon which had had its bolts removed so that it would bounced up and down, a big electric pilon that could easily kill her. I think she is showing her mother the stunt. In the next shot, the woman in on London Bridge with the pilon sticking out to the side. She is wearing a paragliding harness and somehow shoots up and then plummets into the water, and the pilon, a massive piece of metal goes in after her.

She is going a running commentary to this footage and saying that in retrospect this was a dangerous stunt and she wouldn't be doing it again. That her mother's anxiety was justified and that it "wasn't worth it">

When I turn around to the aging black man behind the till in the cheap-o jeans market to tell him about this clip and ask him if he's seen it, the words won't come out. For some reason, I keep substituting in other words, I repeat the same erroneous phrase a few times, then realise I'm saying the wrong words; uninterested in what I'm talking about he says "you have sexual difficulties don't you", as if my inability to speak was because I was sexually repressed.

>...maybe I need to give up on aesthetism but I still hate what is going on in this world because of greed, so I find that hard to do.

[For_the_love_of_Go]

but I feel that the women there, who wear white and a extremely moderate and quiet....find me to ego-y.

I am not surprised really, after reading your dream I would draw the same conclusion.

the aging black man behind the till in the cheap-o jeans market

*Shakes head*

Point's at the "cheap-o jeans remark.

[Mystress]

As I was slumbering in bed this morning, a sentence popped into my head:

"One can only be truly free, if one doesn't care what happens the next moment."

So, freedom of expectations, maybe? Living in the moment? Eternal now and all that?

 Yeah, you have it pegged, Wanda. Buddhist- letting go of attachments and letting go of expectations are pretty much the same thing.  If you have expectations then you are attached and not fully in the moment, and if you have attachments then you are not free by definition of being attached.  
 Easier to say than do though eh?

[angelprayer]

If I wrote "it was filled with expensive boutiques staffed by attractive well-dressed women with lovely thick hair" would that mean I was egotistical? Only a thought.

[angelprayer]

 Easier to say than do though eh? [/i]

I was wondering how it is possible to accept sexual and other forms of abuse? There are people in my life-story, and events which aren't existing in the Now, however they did happen once and I find it hard to reconcile with that for the following reason. If it happened again, as I am now, I still don't believe I would be free in those circumstances. That is my little test. I know I couldn't be at peace if it was happening now. So I know I'm still attached to the way people act towards me, especially sexually and in terms of my physical peace. Even though I am free and happy at the moment in many ways.

Whilst I completely believe that accepting everything as it is, and living in the now is the only way, free from attachment, there are boundaries which can be crossed and I recognise that my body cannot be defended in a sense. War for instance....would it help me to stay in the now in a situation where small children's limbs are being blown off, or I could lose a leg/get buried alive under rubble?

Eckhart Tolle says "don't demand that this life makes you happy". I am beginning to change my attitude to his teachings, realising that I'm not watching it to continue to "gloss over" things and discover a pretty picture of life in the physical sense. If I had my arm blown open and there was no one to sew it up....it would be horrificly painful. Should life/death be the test of attachment? Is it possible to avoid pain?

The second question....how to deal with acute physical pain.

Hope that isn't too much....but I need to know about the serious stuff. It doesn't get mentioned in the clips I've seen on Youtube so far, rather not specifically.

xx

[For_the_love_of_Go]

Hello Angel
You asked the question "What is freedom, in this life? Is it possible, and if so, how can one achieve it?"
I most definitely think it is possible depending on what you want freedom from.
Do you want freedom from yourself, your past or do you want freedom from the constraints of society?

Personally I believe we become free when we are able to live life without questioning it.
Life without question sounds like freedom to me. Constant questioning can signify a curious mind, however it can also signify uncertainty.

Some people talk of living in the now, letting go of the past. This is good advise to a point, but your past is what makes you who you are, by constantly living in the now is just the same as dissociating really. It is all about a balance of the two I think, taking time to step out and just enjoy a simple moment, but also reflecting on your past.

[angelprayer]

Hi,
I'd like freedom from the following issues, which have been particular blocks:

- freedom from resentment of past events and certain people.
- freedom from judgement of self and others
- freedom from expectations I project out and make myself a slave to, like being attractive, or having a normal career.

I just want to follow my heart and not feel bad about it. I try to fit into a box which just isn't me; started a career which was very poorly suited to actual abilities. Still feel a failure even though I am developing in other ways and it was not "my fault", that things were interrupted by finding out my weaknesses, and having cognitively disruptive anxiety problems.

- freedom from thinking I should be someone I am not.

That type of thing. Just writing it is probably bringing it to light, but I admit these issues are quite consuming of my mental energies and I do find myself falling into anxiety traps, more or less without even realising it.

[For_the_love_of_Go]

Why should you "Fit in" I am glad that I now realize that there is really nothing to fit into.
If everyone else was exactly the same then I may feel awkward, but they are not all the same.
Freedom from trying to fit into some socially created construct of what we are supposed to be like comes from realizing that it is just that, I false construct to make us spend money, chasing something that ultimately may not make us happy anyway.

Let go of all the events and questions that are crushing your heart.
If your heart has a door, kick the fucking thing down girl!!

[tiny_sounds]

One of the key aspects of my meditation practise at the moment is to remove my sense of self as much as I can. This begins with unidentifying with the physical body and moves (for me!) into a space where it feels like a huge sphere of being(s). I like this because of the overwhelming sense of freedom and power. Although you feel hugely impowered there's no ego trip involved because you are so aware of these other beings around you, there is a kind of mutual respect thing that if you were to infringe on, would remove you from the space.

For me personally, the greatest power and freedom has come from this shift in my sense of self and a movement outwards which includes the people you are around (or if you're meditating on your own, then beings in spirit). This can also make your heart swell a great deal and bring you to tears, in a good way!

Angel it sounds like a lot of your beef is comming about from judgement of yourself and others. 'expectations I project out and make myself a slave to,' Ken Wilber (youtube his name, there is some great stuff!) would describe this as misplaced drive. It's drive you have towards something which, although still present, you've lost direct connection with. The result is that it becomes pressure, this eventually squshes you and makes you feel like your 'prisoner' to these things. So the best thing to do is to become aware of this feeling as, not a bad external thing outside of yourself that you have to struggle against, but instead something which is comming from you. So try to own it as much as you can. Make it yours. That owning will give you the power to change it, because it's yours. Also recongnise that it's just misplaced drive. Which means that you have a lot of ambition and a want to grow. That's good!

Check out Wilber, he's mega-cool, in a 'yo' way!

[angelprayer]

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double post

[angelprayer]

Thanks Tiny Sounds,


I totally relate Ken Wilber description - internally derived pressure, judgements which always disconnect life. Thankfully things are finally beginning to shift but only with the help of essence. Just getting the slightest distance from attachments and residing more in Spirit is helping a lot. And I just decided to be a spiritual healer, so this is a great time in many ways. Thankyou...everyone here.

May I ask where you focus attention when you meditate on formlessness? For instance, the soul spark, heart or third eye?


Recently I'm using seat of consciousness - 3rd eye - to access spirit, and it's really cool, but I notice one can be almost "spiritually overactive" sometimes. So I will be lying in bed, and all is well in peace, but overlying that is quite a lot of excitement. I can't sleep because my ego is getting so excited about how much the 3rd eye mediation works. It's like "whoa whoa this is so cool I can't believe I'm finally getting somewhere". And whilst the positive vibes are coming in, that niggling ego-observer which constantly gets excited about everything is like a little kid mentally running around.

Perhaps it just comes with significant energy shifts? Have you ever experienced that, when something changes in a day or two and you just "know" there is no going back? Something has happened on the energetic level and even though that change is positive, it is like having a new pair of shoes, and for that reason, quite uncomfortable.

Even feeling more fulfilled is something I'm having to try to adjust to, as before I was always empty and everything revolved around that. To actually not live by that agenda is taking a lot of patience to go towards. EFT helps for nagging attachments, like social anxiety and judgements. When I get the end  of the cycle, something else like a resistive emotion to the original problem, pops up. So I do the next round on that. It usually only takes 2 cycles, done like that, to clear the "grasp" of the attachment. And then once that slight distance is made, emotionally, it goes more smooth.

Om Shanti

[tiny_sounds]

Hi Angel,

I wouldn't say that I can get into a completely formless state but more, right now, one which allows me to drop a lot of the baggage that is assosciated with an egoic sense of self that has built up over recent years. How I've started doing this is by seeing my body in the space that I'm in. So literally, just seeing me sitting there in a room, quietly. This seems to trigger a disassociation with that body for some reason. It becomes much easier then for me to just see my body as a lump of matter and nothing more.

It also draws me into the present which then in turn gets me in touch with my energy body. There are then different types of experiences that pop up, that I don't really have too much of a handle of controlling yet. One is the awareness of other beings and being drawn into a kind of spherical energy body. This has a lovely sense of collective empowerment and quiet to it, but one that doesn't seem too personal and is a nice place to sit to help along with the disassociation with the ego.

The second one feels much more like a personal energy, like a higher source of self. I think that maybe once you begin to sit in the space where you renounce (at some level!) your ego, a greater source of self is opened up to you. It's like spirit is saying, 'Ok, you can now handle this.........' because there isn't so much of a tendancy for your ego to pick it up and run with it, making more karma for yourself.

I very much understand the part of you that you talk about that goes, 'whoa, this is cool, this is really working......' Its very easy to start allowing your ego to run with it, and that one got me a lot. It's only very recently that I've begun to feel like, well I'm the only one experiencing this, it's not like my mates can watch me! And this is only hindering the process. So there's a little sort of coach that grows after a while that pulls those thoughts away cos they just stop the game.

But yeah, these do tend to happen I think when you have large energy shifts or a profound experience. One thing that Mystress told me that really helped was that you should really try not to hold on to these experiences as they just turn into blocks. And it's so true! Just let come up whatever comes up, hang ten on the wave as it arrives then get ready for the next.

Having spent a lot of time in depression myself I can also very much understand what you say about adjusting to feeling fulfilled. Theres a lot of thought patterns and dramas that get made and leaving them behind can be long! What's the EFT and cycles all about, not sure if I know about that.

Sorry for the essay!  
take it easy......................

[angelprayer]

Hi Tiny Sounds,
EFT is emotional freedom technique, it appears to be a very effective way of cutting through immediate emotional content and freeing up the essence within. What you do is tap meridian points whilst saying affirmations of self-acceptance. That frees up the energy which is working AGAINST the self to entangle spirit and other people. Basically it disperses energy patterns of chi, whilst the unconscious mind and conscious mind are building bridges. It seems to have an almost miraculous effect with psychological attachment. So it uses a lot of principles of what is on this site, but is another way of dealing with the lower chakra issues which sometimes block groundedness. EFT could be used to release attachment to experiences as well.
Om shanti

[greeenz]

I think freedom is only achieved when one stops seeking freedom and how to achieve it...


http://incontru.spruz.com/forums.asp?page=t&cmd=view&v=397606
this is my personal site where i write my thoughts so check it out if you want

[lasagna]

freedom is thinking for yourself, and creating your own reality, your own way of life and then living it in the way of the divine is to bring all realities together is harmony