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[VaseaDude]

Hi,

In a few words, I underwent a kundalini psychosis two years ago which started with a really blissful state of feeling a lot of love (so much I couldn not help but cry), feeling like everything around me was experienced fully for the first time. But then, fear and thoughts came in and brought me intense nighmare. I became delusional. Finally I was hospitalized, put on anti-psychotics and 'recovered'. I have been taking a small sustaining dose for two years now. Although I can function, I generally feel very week and emotionally susceptible, fragile. I also went to a healer recently who told me my chakras are open but my balance of cosmic and earth energies is affected. He told me I lack earth energy.

I have came across your grounding meditation and I am confused whether it is right for me or not. Does it raise the earth energy, or does it bring another kindalini awakening? I am not sure if triggering another awakening could bring me a positive effect or bring me back into psychosis again.

Recently, for certain intervals separated by a few months, I tried a meditation, described by Osho (which is simply putting awareness into the Here and Now, and be calm and aware of the intuitive energy of the present). After doing it almost constant for a few days, I realized I had more power and insights into things. But after a few days, I felt like a sudden energy was about to burst (the feeling similar to when you are about to have your first ever orgasm and don't know what the hell is that, and you stop), so I stopped, afraid not to be able to handle what was on the other side of that 'explosion'.

What do you think that is that I have almost experienced, is is another potential kundalini awakening or something else? What would you suggest me?

Thank you!

[Jeff]

The grounding exercise should help and bring balance to the energy flows that you are feeling.  Many also feel it helpful to do outdoor activities and literally "play in the dirt". Also, depending on your diet, heavier foods and meat can help.

It sounds like you have significant energy flowing.  When you have a lot of energy early it can create an feeling of disconnection or dislocation. Think of it as too much voltage flowing through a circuit. Meditation practices will help increase your inner stillness, which will help expand the capacity and balance things out.

Osho's books can be a great source of overall information. I think of him as the encyclopedia. But, if you are trying to follow a path, he is a little light on specifics.

Namaste, Jeff

[VaseaDude]

Hi Jeff,

Thanks for the reply.
I was referring to the grounding meditation described on this site, which is here: http://kundalini-teacher.com/meditations/grounding.php
Were you referring to the same meditation when you said it would "help increase your inner stillness, which will help expand the capacity and balance things out" or, did you refer to some other type of meditation?

What do you think was that 'energy' I was sensing about to explode when meditating?

Do you think maybe I should get a guru before trying to meditate?

Peace

[Jeff]

Yes, the grounding meditation on the site will help. If you compare it to more classical eastern, it is really a combination of grounding and chakra energy work. But, since it doesn't really focus on any set area, it becomes a very balanced energy process.

By "meditation", I guess I really meant a more focused meditation technique. I am not really one of the regulars here, but there is some debate around just letting K happen or helping it along. As to what the energy is, the answer depends on your religious framework.  To me, it is a divine partnership.

I would recommend meditating.  The only real purpose of a guru is to help you find your own "inner guru". If you need a guru, the guru will find you.

Spend some time with it, and you will find that it is much more than energy that you feel. 

If you have more questions, feel free to email me directly.

Namaste, Jeff