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[iansanityy]

Can anyone tell me their experiences regarding the holy grail heart initiation...How was it? How has life improved?

[Sigmund]

What are your concerns?

[iansanityy]

just would like to hear a few experiences, before I have one myself

Want to know what I'm getting into

[Sigmund]

Grounding.  Heart discernment.  Namaste.

[Mystress]

just would like to hear a few experiences, before I have one myself

  The Holy Grail is the graduation ritual for Fire Serpent Tantra.  It is not offered independently of FST because it requires at least a year of preparation.  

[iansanityy]

I think I have already opened my heart...many times, it seems to be transient...

At times during deep meditation I feel my heart speeding, and a type of adrenaline rush leading to an exhilarated feeling of expansion like I'm vapor rising out of my body and dissolving into all that is...

The residual peace lasts only for a while but slowly dims away...

The first time this happened it was overwhelming, the successive times afterward seemed to have become less as powerful than the last.

Why can't I keep my heart open?

Or is the bliss supposed to be transient?

[Wanda]

A couple of years ago I had an experience that was like a volcano eruption in the middle of my chest, with hot lava spreading out and filling up my upper body. And there was a very loud/strong pulsating sound/sensation...

I felt that God loves me with a perfect and everlasting love... It was so overwhelming that I wept like a little child, despite being in a public place surrounded by strangers. I didn't do anything to provoke this experience, it hit me by surprise as I was just hanging around, minding my own business, not thinking of anything in particular.

Afterwards, there have been similar experiences, but on a smaller scale. And now it has been more outward-directed, like I somehow participate in God's love for all that is... Yeah, pretty much like the line in Psalm 23.

The initial experience had a rough aftermath though, I was kind of half-paralyzed for days, unable to speak or eat or walk properly, and it seemed like parts of my memory had been wiped clean... Learning to do everything as if for the first time. Vulnerable like a newborn.

I got a total personality makeover as a result. It hurt like hell. I guess if I had been prepared in any way and if I hadn't resisted (or if I had had any idea what was going on), then it might have hurt less.

But I wouldn't know if the Holy Grail Initiation is anything like what I went through.

I personally wouldn't get any initiations, it seems that strange stuff happens to me by itself and on its own schedule. I'm just trying to keep my head above the water...

Why do you want to get it anyway? It sounds like you have a fulfilling meditational life. You wanna make it even better, stay in the bliss longer, make it last forever? But your initial post suggested that you're looking for a way to "improve your life". C'mon, being in a permanent bliss-state is not living a life. I would think that these occasional glimpses of the Real and personal tune-ups are given to us so we would live our lives more fully here and now...   

[iansanityy]

SAT-CHIT-ANANDA

Sanskrit for Existence-Consciousness-Bliss

All there is, is bliss. Matter is condensed bliss, were walking conglomerations of bliss. Its not about feeling good, the pursuit of escaping life...But removing the barriers preventing me from fully experiencing life and living it...Someone without barriers and impasses to acknowledging the infinite in self, realizes anything is possible, love is not in any one person but everywhere, inside and in everything...Life to God is an unending adrenline rush, or rather an unending orgasm....As mystress has said, Godess is sex.

I just want to open to my infinite self, without limitation. Live in bliss...Live in love and happiness

[Wanda]

Oh my goodness.
I bow to your way with words, oh Knowledgeable one. 

I am a bit puzzled though about your definition of "life to God". I think a permanent orgasm or a constant adrenaline rush would wear you out after a while... And in this state, you wouldn't be of any use to the society in general and not even able to take care of your own everyday needs.

Maybe it's more like being in love... With noone in particular... With everything around you... 

[iansanityy]

Exactly

Although Its not about loving everyone, its about loving self... Ever met anyone that just erks you and you don't know why? That person may be reflecting a part of yourself you dislike...Ever since I was a child I was taught to question my intelligence, now every time I encounter a mentally disabled person; it doesn't matter how hard I try to practice what I preach I have the biggest urge to get out of the room. I realized in order to unconditionally love others, you need to first unconditionally love your self. That means the dumb part, the ugly, the socially awkward...Everything.

I just broke up with my girlfriend, wanted her to be supportive but she just ended up reflecting the part of myself I've been trying to escape. Darn, there is no way out...You always have to face yourself. Possibilities are endless in life, we dictate what is possible and not possible...The boundaries are self created, our own doubts reflected.

I was watching a show where a woman was undergoing a make-over, but for the first half she had terribly resisted the host's attempts to improve her appearance...Of course he criticized her and made fun of her "look", I wanted to tell him to go gentle because I knew there was underlying wound she was avoiding...She later confessed she never felt "pretty" which is why she had avoided the conventional "pretty" look.

So therefore I cry: "I LOVE MYSELF" please love yourself too!

[iansanityy]

-I think a permanent orgasm or a constant adrenaline rush would wear you out after a while... And in this state, you wouldn't be of any use to the society in general and not even able to take care of your own everyday needs.-

I think the rush comes during an expansion of self...When we scale something of ourselves which appeared to tower and defeat us. We then look down and yell "I did it!!!" Imagine scaling one mountain after another, Each providing a greater and greater view of who you really are...Infinite!

I'm AWESOME! You are AWESOME!

[Mystress]

   One result of the Grail is my heartbeat is permanently set at 80 beats per minute, whether I am sleeping or running up a hill.  It creates a standing wave that puts me in permanent resonance with the planetary life force, the magnetic field. Schumann resonance. The very pulse of my life force beating, belongs to Goddess and dances to her music and I can feel that beat in my whole body, my hair, the chair I sit in and the vastness of the universe itself. 

  It makes your heart turn inside-out so there is no difference between the universe on the inside and on the outside. Yes, like being in love with everything, with life itself.

  BTW: Wanda: At graduation of FST, students are given instructions on how to be initiated into the Grail by their own Divine Beloved, Goddess within them. 
There is no limit, to bliss...