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[DarkKnight]

I had a massive K awakening 20 years ago. I've had nary a trace of that bliss since. I am a male.

I have dark thoughts of being attacked by strangers and sexually assaulted. Where are these thoughts coming from and why can't I trust K to take care of everything for me.

Can anyone relate.

[Duu]

I think your question hits in the area of free will. And there is not much written about it here.
However it seems that to a degree kundalini respects ones free will. And furthermore free will and the impacts of our decisions back on us are crucially important factor in order to live and learn.
I mean if you make certain act or mistake and you would not experience the positive or negative feedback then it would be a great problem. How would anyone be able to learn or grow?

As you know, this website and FST is "surrender based" but you still find here posted pages with various techniques and methods. And it is usually to account for above mentioned free will, however not exclusively.
If you do a mistake, there are consequences and you have to adjust, learn and expand your wisdom. So one is not absolved for responsibilities in ones actions.
And nobody else, nor kundalini can be responsible for your learning process, the ability to notice the situation correctly and adapt or learn from it. Kundalini is just a facilitator, it energizes us so we can see more, or accept more and adapt more easily. Or indeed forces us to face things we would rather not face at all. But then we are handed that and if we are not hearing what needs to be heard, message gets louder.
Until it gets too loud obviously.

Many people can go around all their life avoiding some unpleasant inner truths, kundalini awakened can only delay it for years.  And the issues of second chakra and power chakra belong to the most toughest out there.
So as ones life goes on, it is possible that one eases and ripens more and is ready now to face more.

Love,
Duu

[Mystress]

  My first thought is, maybe you were assaulted and do not remember, being aware that its easy for the mind to invent such memories when called to. "Self Hypnosis" by Milton Erickson. Learn to speak with your unconscious mind directly then you can ask whats up with it.