Intense fear?

[tiny_sounds]

Hi all,

I just wanna run something by you lot and ask if anyone else has experienced it. Last night I was woken up at about 3AM by a drunken friends sister, asking whether I was with him. Bonkers! It was 3AM for God(dess'!)'s sake!

Anywho, I then settled down to go back to sleep when I could suddenly feel something comming over my awareness. I'm used to this when I'm settling down to sleep and the experiences are normally pleasurable so I was up for going along for the ride.

However, as this started to approach me I suddenly began to feel very uncomfortable. I then had a sudden realisation of some sort of crazy abstract logic that seemed to make perfect sense at the time. However, this wasn't unfortunately an 'I Am One with the universe' realisation, it was awful.

The best way I can describe it was like having all of your little day to day anxieties and apprehensions for an entire decade all come rushing at you at once in one big blob of impending doom. I thought I was going to sease to exist at that very moment. It was rubbish.

A lot of people would just call this a massive panic attack, however it came with a widening of awareness of spirit. Like your peripheral vision widens. It came from spirit. Now my question is this........

Have I been hexed or is this some sort of face-to-face with your fear thing that happens when you are making more of an effort of moving into your true self and rid yourself of old thought patterns.

Mystress, I remember you talking about you comming into your fear when you were little. Was it like this? I can't bloomin' remember. It was quite a few years ago. I know I'm not going mad. I set those innitial thoughts aside the moment I had them. I know this is spirit, I just don't know which aspect.

Any help, comments or sharing would be greatly appriciated.
Many thanks, (and weren't the Olympics fun! 

[Gustaf]

Yes!

In fact, many of the spontaneous awakening experiences I've had during nighttime have been initiated with intense fear and dread.

I would become conscious mid-sleep of an image or event, it could be anything, it merely seems like a trigger or something being exhausted, I would often wake up screaming. Often, this scream seemed to come from somewhere else, like witnessing somebody far away screaming. It would be followed by intense surges of energy throughout the body, like ghosts moving through me, but everywhere, more from within than without. Sometimes, I'd look in the mirror, and not recognize who was there. Later on, I would go back to bed. If I surrendered to the experience, the energy, and the completely alien feeling, I would be propelled into meditation.

Also at the very first onset of awakening I had, intense periods of fear followed. 

Somehow, this is probably inevitable for many of us. Awakening at any stage means diminishing of ego.  Ego consists of fear, and it is like death every time.  If there is an expansion of awareness, you are blessed.  When I surrendered to these experiences at night, some of the most amazing events followed. But it's best done without expectation, to allow it to happen as it will!

I don't see that you are being hexed.  These fears seek release.   

Also, here's a suggestion. Don't try to analyze them or figure them out with your mind. Your insight that it was spirit is what is essentially needed.  When you surrender, you may gain insights, or you will just feel liberated.

Many who become awakened seem to go through this fear.  Eckhart Tolle was in deep anxiety and fear, that turned so intense that it collapsed his ego very quickly. 

What Mystress went through in her Shamanic awakening, I can't even imagine. It makes the experiences I've had like a stroll on the beach.

My wife is psychic, and an incredible gift.  The first time I had these night events, I screamed as if in death-throes, out loud, in the middle of the night.   She gently touched my arm, and told me it looked like water. I was flushed out through a womb.

I can definitely relate to what you say about the peripheral vision widening, and a very distinct feeling of something rising from within. Let Goddess handle it!

http://kundalini-teacher.com/awakening/egodiss.php

Namaste!
Gustaf

Hi all,

I just wanna run something by you lot and ask if anyone else has experienced it. Last night I was woken up at about 3AM by a drunken friends sister, asking whether I was with him. Bonkers! It was 3AM for God(dess'!)'s sake!

Anywho, I then settled down to go back to sleep when I could suddenly feel something comming over my awareness. I'm used to this when I'm settling down to sleep and the experiences are normally pleasurable so I was up for going along for the ride.

However, as this started to approach me I suddenly began to feel very uncomfortable. I then had a sudden realisation of some sort of crazy abstract logic that seemed to make perfect sense at the time. However, this wasn't unfortunately an 'I Am One with the universe' realisation, it was awful.

The best way I can describe it was like having all of your little day to day anxieties and apprehensions for an entire decade all come rushing at you at once in one big blob of impending doom. I thought I was going to sease to exist at that very moment. It was rubbish.

A lot of people would just call this a massive panic attack, however it came with a widening of awareness of spirit. Like your peripheral vision widens. It came from spirit. Now my question is this........

Have I been hexed or is this some sort of face-to-face with your fear thing that happens when you are making more of an effort of moving into your true self and rid yourself of old thought patterns.

Mystress, I remember you talking about you comming into your fear when you were little. Was it like this? I can't bloomin' remember. It was quite a few years ago. I know I'm not going mad. I set those innitial thoughts aside the moment I had them. I know this is spirit, I just don't know which aspect.

Any help, comments or sharing would be greatly appriciated.
Many thanks, (and weren't the Olympics fun! 

[tiny_sounds]

Hi Gustaf,

Sorry for late reply, lots going on. Thanks for your post. It's so nice to have someone to relate to. I normally am quite good with self-assuring myself that what is happening is cool, but that one was particularly uncomfortable. Wow, fear is a nutty one.

Although, since then I have had a very nice peaceful space arise just before I wake. Which resonates with a general way of being that I'm trying to fall into. One of my main things to work on in this life I think is to not rush ahead. I want it all now and it does me in. I have struggled in the past to find peace in the now. Although recently I have found lots of joy in sitting in now and working on myself from now.

It's a funny thing, it's one of those huge clichés in spirituality. Massive. People write books about it. But actually stopping, completely, and taking the time to find and settle into yourself is so pleasurable once it's done. It's been a lot about humbling myself and being honest about where I'm at.

It must be great to have a partner that can see your experiences, shed light on them and give you such a great insight into them. Fantastic. Do you feel like you can open yourself to these experiences at will. Energy release, etc. Or do you just say, ok, I'm going to bed, night night, and let whatever happens, happen? I know it's not a good idea to hold onto experiences as you say, but is there a conscious, 'ok, let's have it!'. Or do you just go to bed and if it comes, it comes.   

Namaste 
Jack