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[konquerer]

I read the details about the divine beloved in the website. I have certain questions about a few lines stated there which I am quoting here: "Well, that person really doesn't exist outside of yourself. So that you'll probably never really find them, externally. "

The text does not give any instructions about what to do if someone finds their divine beloved 'externally'. I am asking this because I have found my divine beloved and it has taken the form of a girl who was my classmate. This happened about a year ago and I have had a lot of positive experiences since then. Every major decision I make since then I have consulted my divine beloved. But the thing is that I have to address my divine beloved with the name of that girl to get a response. But every time I do so I get a response immediately, and i hear her voice in my head, and if I close my eyes I can see her face and can feel her holding my hand.
Can anyone tell me what this means? Does this mean that she should be my life partner? Can someone please enlighten me on this issue?

[Wanda]

Could you tell me, what is your relationship to the girl in question?
Prior to your DB starting to appear as her?
After your DB started to appear as her?

[konquerer]

Hi Wanda

Thanks for replying. Me and this girl were classmates for four years but we never talked to each other for three years, but that was because boys and girls were not allowed to talk to each other in our college and I never talk much with girls anyway. So it was just before the end of the third year when I first saw her in a dream, which was my first dream in a very long time. Since then the sequence has continued, and whenever she appears in a dream something good happens that day. It was after all this happened that we started talking. Initially, when I told her about all this she did not like it at all, which was expected. I could not explain what it all meant as I myself did not understand the concept of the divine beloved till I came across this website. At this point we are close friends and talk to each other about once or twice a week, as we are studying in different places. We talk generally and I have never opened up the subject of me being in love with her, or marrying her. I want to be absolutely sure about this before I do something like that.

Apart from the dreams I often hear her voice in my head, and on closing my eyes I see her face and can feel her holding my hand. Even when I was a child I used to hear a female voice in my head giving me guidance, but I could never associate it to a face. At that time I never used to pay any attention to that and made decisions like everybody else. But ever since I have started seeing her face I make any decision only after I consult my divine beloved. And I have always had this notion in my head that I would find my life partner in a different way, and not like others such as my parents searching for a suitable girl for me or through matrimonials. Therefore, I feel that she is the one for me.
I hope all this information helps.

[Wanda]

Thank you for clarifying. 

Now when you read Mystress'es essay on the topic, there was another sentence there, "Goddess takes a form that you can love"... And just to make sure, she repeats it in the end, saying that your DB "will show up as something that you can love". What you might have missed (or wanted to miss  ), is that this taking form and showing up happens inside of you, not outside of you... After all, She is your DB, yours exclusively, and for noone else to see, hear or touch!

Yes, you seem to have found your beloved (note the small "b") externally. And this gave your internal DB a chance to manifest to you in a clearer fashion... Internally!

As you read, our DB "filters our perceptions" in order to make Him/Herself known to us.

As far as I can tell, our DB is not creating "Him/Herself" from the scratch, He/She is using ready-made, that is, already existing past experiences of a face, an embrace, a scent, a tone of voice etc, drawing these elements from our memory, choosing the most suitable ones and combining them to achieve the desired effect. You'll agree, that the way we perceive something, and especially the way we remember something is not necessarily an objective reflection and an exact representation of what happened? Even more so, when it involves someone we have feelings for... And when being re-used by our DB, these experiences will be idealized and intensified to such a degree, that it becomes as much as we can take... And even a little bit beyond! 

Our DB might choose to appear in visions and dreams as someone we know. This might be due to sufficient amount of resonant qualities in that person (to the extent of our familiarity with this person at this point, and for the particular purpose that our DB has in mind in making this appearance). It may also be that we have projected a part of our DB unto that person and He/She respects our choice of seeing Him/Her in that person and as that person... It is very tempting to take the apparition at face value, and to think that the figure we're interacting with is in fact the real person in our lives - maybe as an astral form, or as their higher self or whatever. If one's DB has only ever manifested as one person, then I guess it's inevitable to come to this conclusion...

That girl of yours comes across as a wise and loving person. To think, you approached her with "Hi, I'm [konquerer], and I'm here to inform you that you're the woman of my dreams."  I'm sure she thought you were crazy, but instead of cruelly pushing you away or foolishly falling for you, she chose to become friends with you, to find out what kind of a man you really are and whether there might be a decent person hidden underneath the craziness...  The least you can do is to return the favor and get to know her too - as she really is!

She is not your DB. She's not the image of perfection in your mind: all-knowing, eternally patient and always there with you and for you. She's a flesh-and-blood woman, with her good and bad sides, strengths and weaknesses - worthy and deserving to be loved and accepted for the whole person she is. You can and should worship the reflection of your DB in her! But please, try to keep in mind, that she is not your DB...

Just as you are not her DB! Put yourself in her shoes for a moment - how would you feel if she would come to you and tell you that you're her Prince Charming incarnate? At first, you might be flattered... But then, you'd realize - she didn't say "you're like my Prince" or that "I see my Prince in you", but "you are my Prince"... Yikes!!! Surely, knowing yourself, you'd feel unfit to fill the role offered to you. Maybe you'd make a heroic effort to live up to her expectations, and inevitably fail in the end - much to her disappointment and your own frustration...

Just think - how would you like to be loved? As you are or as you should be? Not even as you should be in your own eyes, but as you should be according to someone else...

Your current relationship with your actual DB sounds absolutely wonderful... Why don't you ask Her how to proceed with the girl?

All the best to you, her and Her! 

[konquerer]

Hi Wanda

Thanks again for replying. Ever since I replied to your question I have been checking this website daily waiting for your reply. My DB had told me that I would get a reply only when all my exams and tests got over and it was a few hours after I finished my last test did I get your reply on November 17. You are right, my relationship with my DB is wonderful  . Which sometimes makes me wonder whether I actually need a women in my as a life partner. I mean I feel so complete with my DB as I share both my happiness and sorrows with Her and there is hardly a moment when I feel I'm alone or do not have support. But then like all other choices I will let my DB choose what is right for me. As for me being her DB, I know for sure that won't happen because my DB told me so.

Thanks for such a detailed reply (must have taken you really long time to think of all that and put that in there). I must admit I did not understand most of what you had written in the first 3 or 4 paragraphs and only when I read the last few paragraphs that I got somewhat of an idea what you were trying to say (But still had to read the first 3 or 4 paras 5 or 6 times to understand them). Anyway thanks for clarifying.

[Wanda]

You're right! These first few paragraphs are totally confusing!


Guess I wrote them for myself, trying to make sense of why my own DB appears as this or that person in my life...

We should probably spend less time wondering "what this means" and more time listening to our DB.

Especially me, you're doing a fine job as it is.

[konquerer]

Yes you are right I made that same mistake initially and wasted a lot of time wondering why my DB appeared as her, but of course I did not understand the concept of DB then. I used to wonder why that girl appeared as my DB and not someone else. But later I surrendered thinking that I'm human and am likely to make a mistake with making choices for myself, and that whatever God chooses for me is the best for me. I considered my DB appearing as her as God's gift to me and surrendered my life to my DB. It was the best choice of my life.

You are absolutely right in saying that we should spend more time listening to our DB and surrendering ourselves completely an willfully to our DB, and accept what our DB is and what our DB says to us.