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[Brandy]

I was gonna ask: if it ever felt overwhelming to imagine trying to combine the attatched life you are currently in with a life of little attachment and a strong sense of now?

But then I knew, that anything that feels overwhelming should be surrended to God, and I know that all things will be as they should be.

I must admit though I just finished reading about surrender. I am not very practiced at staying balanced and centered and being in tune with the energy that is; at least not on purpose, but just a few tools and it's like new. I am still living through my ego most of the time, but with help I am leting go to let god handle it.

[Rasta]

Hi.
Well, i can say for myself, that there's no middle-state. You're either in service of God(ess), and all you are is it's will (and of all the existance), or either you are in service for yourself, and all you do, you do for your sake, your ego - be it to make it stronger or weaker. For me, it's wrong to think of myself to be partly that, or mostly that - no - i'm selfish, proud, weak, and most important - not part of anything bigger or stronger or more/most beautiful. All i can do about it is to get to know myself, my way of acting, thinking, feeling - to see that logical machine behind all of it. Only by concentrating on here and now can i stop or pause it, even for just a little bit at start. And, as you say, surrender, but surrender to unknown, as anything but myself can't be known to me. I must empty myself of all of myself, and of everything i believe it's mine, and let everything else fill me. Without hoping or wishing, without expectations - with total emptiness, surrender to unknown. What will be, will be, be it life or death - i can't know anyway, but i won't make a mistake of making image of something imaginary. So i just beg myself - go away, and stop existing, 'cause all i can know of is - pain in untruth.