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First experience of Divine Beloved?

Started by sheerpranic, March 10, 2012, 02:04:43 PM

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sheerpranic

Hi Everybody:

This is my first post on this site - although I have been reading KundaliniTeacher.com for a few months.  After I post here I'm going to go post some warm fuzzies, because I truly appreciate all that Mystress and her Lineage do with this public service.

To give some background to my post, I'm female, nearly 50 years old, and celibate for a number of years.  I have used an energy technique (EFT) to draw Prana or Qi for emotional healing, and I'm pretty sure I've felt Kundalini rising on a number of occasions during my EFT sessions, and most recently with the Grounding exercise (not in any disciplined way, though).

The reason I'm posting today is because yesterday morning I had a curious experience. 

Lying in bed in a state of light sleep, I drifted into a sort of lucid dream.  I felt I was sitting, and there was a man standing in front of me.  The man bent to kiss me, then wrapped his arms around me and "lay me down" with me on my back and him on top of me. 

Now, this was different from any erotic dream I've had.  Such dreams are rare for me, anyway.

Firstly, I was lucid, i.e. I knew that I was "dreaming".  Secondly, I felt sensations for the first time in such a dream state.  I could feel the man's hands and arms around me, and the warmth and pressure of his body against mine.  I could smell him.  I felt his lips against mine but did not get any taste sensation because the kiss was very brief.

The experience ended immediately.  As I formed a thought something like "I know you" or maybe "yes, please" and as my dream-self reached to embrace my beloved, he disappeared from my awareness.  As I woke to ordinary consciousness, lying in my bed, I felt suffused with what I interpret as Prana, i.e. I had a whole-body sensation of warmth, fullness and vibration. 

My first conscious thought was "Damn, I scared him away". 

Do any of you FST grads have thoughts on this?  Was this a Divine Beloved experience?  Was it my desire for the experience to continue (the hunger of middle-age and long-term celibacy) that drove it away?

Mari

You had nice moment with your Beloved :) You were sleeping deeply enough when experience happened, so your ego mind wasn't interrupting. In-between state. You didn't do anything wrong and definitely you didn't scare him away. You just started to become more awake and able to use your conscious will when reaching out to him, that dream faded and you woke up. Waking up usually means the conscious mind, ego, takes charge. With deep surrender to your Beloved it's possible to have the relationship going on also when awake. When we try to control our Beloveds in any way, they vanish... So in those dreams, it's best to surrender and enjoy, not trying to control what happens.

Enjoy :)